Winter Is Over
by quietuniverse
Summary: (Immediately following the events of CA:TWS) He's lost. He can't trust anyone. Painful and confusing pieces of memories keep flashing through his mind. She's scared, because he's dangerous and unpredictable. But he needs her help to find out who he really is.
1. Chapter 1

"Shit."

She tripped and stumbled through the woods, heart and mind both racing.  
She clutched the briefcase, holding on to it for dear life.

* * *

He glanced back at the body of the man he had left lying on the shore. His memories were still hazy and unclear, out of his reach.

..but he knew this man. He wasn't quite sure how. But the man's last words before falling had hit him hard. That was why he dove into the water after him.

He wasn't ready to face the man yet, though. He needed to figure out who he was, first. The man had insisted on calling him Bucky.

_Who the hell is Bucky? Do I have a name?_

His head throbbed as he tried to process everything that had just happened. He trudged through the woods, not quite sure where he was headed. Strange and confusing pieces of memories were buzzing around in his head. Painful recent images also began to appear. Images where he was strapped down in a lab chair, biting down as pain coursed through his mind and body.

Frustration overwhelmed him as he tried to understand what he was seeing and what had happened to him. The most he could decipher was that he could trust no one at this point.

"Shoot her. We just need the briefcase."

His pace slowed down as he heard voices up ahead. He gripped the gun holstered at his waist as he slowly inched forward. Five figures came into view.

Four men were standing in a circle around a young woman who was lying on the ground, hands wrapped around a briefcase.

"I will pull the pin from the grenade that's inside of this briefcase and kill all of us before giving you S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files."

"If you so much as move a muscle to reach for the grenade, you're dead. Hand over the briefcase, doll, so we can get this over with and your death can be quick."

Bucky listened quietly as the scene played out before him. The men were members of HYDRA that had escaped the destruction at the S.H.I.E.L.D. base. The woman on the ground must have been real member of S.H.I.E.L.D., a member that had escaped the blasts with very precious cargo.

As Bucky stepped forward, one of the men turned to look at him. They locked eyes and a sick smile spread across the man's face.

"Winter Soldier, I am glad to see you are still in one piece. HYDRA is retreating in order to regroup. This woman here holds very precious information that a few rebellious S.H.I.E.L.D. members stole from HYDRA's encrypted files within the database before the building collapsed. She must be eliminated."

Bucky looked down at the woman. Despite the confidence that he had heard in her voice, terror was hidden in her eyes. Her knuckles were white and her hands shook slightly.

"I'm sorry to say that helping HYDRA is no longer in my agenda."

The men exchanged confused, nervous glances. One of them reached for a gun, but Bucky swiftly knocked the man out with the strength from his cybernetic arm. Another man dove for the woman. Bucky tore the man away from her and slammed him against a large tree trunk. The other two took off running in opposite directions. Bucky drew both the guns he was carrying and shot them in the directions of the men, hitting both targets.

* * *

All of the color drained from her face as she watched the scene play out before her.

She didn't have to worry about the HYDRA agents any longer, but the Winter Soldier was even more of a threat. She had glanced over his files as her and a few other co-workers stole HYDRA's hidden secrets from the database.

He was dangerous. He was skilled.

He was brainwashed and unstable.

The Winter Soldier was a man, turned into a mindless weapon.

He was kept in a lab with doctors that sedated him and wiped his mind clean after every assassination mission.

He turned to face her. Her stomach twisted into knots of fear. He had killed HYDRA members. Members of the agency that owned and controlled him. He must have truly snapped, and she was his next victim.

He reached down and she closed her eyes tightly, waiting to feel his hand around her throat.

But instead, he grabbed her arm tightly and roughly pulled her to her feet.

"Who are you?"

He demanded. She stuttered, too surprised that he hadn't immediately killed her.

"A-a-agent Fortona."

"Well, Agent Fortona, you're coming with me. You're going to take me to a safe location, and you're going to show me what's in that briefcase. Because I have a feeling there's information about me."

She stared at him with wide eyes. He impatiently grabbed her arm again and began to drag her down a path.

* * *

Seconds later, he collapsed to his knees, holding his head and groaning.

Bucky clutched his head as more pieces of memories flooded his mind. He felt pain and confusion.

The world around him began to spin and dim.

He was vaguely aware of the woman kneeling down beside him.

Everything went black . . .

* * *

_2016 update: I still check this regularly, so even though this story has been complete for a while, I still REALLY appreciate reviews :) They inspire my future work._


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: Wow...I really wasn't expecting anyone to read this, let alone review._**  
**_Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed!_**  
**_You got me so excited that I had to keep writing more today!_**

* * *

Lydia nervously fidgeted as she stared at the man passed out beside her on her couch. She should have attempted to make contact with Nick Fury or Agent Hill the second that the Winter Soldier passed out. She should have turned him in to the surviving members of S.H.I.E.L.D. She was an agent that knew about the dangerous events that were going to unfold that day, and she had willingly stayed at her post in the building in order to salvage the secret information in the briefcase while HYDRA was vulnerable. But she didn't turn him in. Perhaps it was because she felt bad for the man that had been turned into a weapon...or perhaps it was because she was afraid that he would find a way to kill her if she had turned him in.

As night had begun to fall, she had carefully managed to pull him up from the ground. He dozed in and out of consciousness, leaning against her and stumbling as they walked. She led him to her apartment that was located in the outskirts of the city. Anyone who would be looking for her had more important matters to attend to first. So her apartment was momentarily safe for the man.

She stole another glance in his direction before reaching for the briefcase sitting on the coffee table in front of her. She unlocked it and slowly took a laptop out of it. She inserted a thin, black flash drive into the side of the laptop.

Lydia scoured the precious information that HYDRA had been hiding in the depths of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s database. It was quite foolish for them to think the information was safe. They had assumed that there were no agents still working inside of the building that were aware of the infiltration. She had taken the information for the sake of Fury and the remaining loyal agents. It had been her assignment, along with two other agents that worked beside her. She had been the only one to make it out of the building alive. Fury would have to wait to receive the files, though. For now, she had another mission.

She searched until she came across The Winter Soldier's file. She glanced over at his sleeping body again, and then back to the computer screen. Her eyes tore across the screen as she took in all of his information. His history. His real name.

She brought a hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp. It was him. The man Steve Rogers mourned day in and day out. Steve and her had become friends in his time working with S.H.I.E.L.D. as he adjusted to the new and strange world around him. He had told her about this man on multiple occasions with a great sadness and pain in his voice.

"Bucky..."

* * *

His eyes shot open as a word broke the silence his mind had been swimming in.

"What did you just say?"

He snapped. He had no idea where he was. He could barely remember what had happened that day. He turned to the woman sitting beside him and anger flashed through his eyes. A predatory, instinctive feeling crept through his body. He pounced on her, pinning her down onto the couch. He forcefully gripped her shoulders as he sat on top of her. He lowered his face close to hers and stared into her terrified eyes. He glowered, his angry expression demanding answers.

She choked out a yelp and said,

"Please! Stop! You asked me to help you, and I am!"

Fear was etched across her face, clear as day. He was a weapon and a monster, but he was not stupid. He then understood that she was not a threat to him. He released her and sat back down on his side of the couch.

"Then what am I doing here?"

She rubbed her sore shoulders as she replied,

"Well...I have information about you. You asked me to help you and then you passed out. I brought you here, to my apartment."

He furrowed his brows as he tried to remember. As the woman relayed the events of the past couple of hours his memory slowly and hazily returned.

"I'm beginning to remember...but my mind feels foggy. I'm sorry for jumping on you. I barely know anything about myself. The only thing I'm very aware of is this drive I feel inside of me to attack and kill."

Lydia pursed her lips for a moment, wondering how best to approach the topic of explaining who...or what...he was.

"Well...if we take a look at your file I think we can figure out why you're feeling this way..."

He scooted over closer to Lydia and she tensed up slightly, hoping he had his emotions in check this time. She quickly moved to a different part of the file, deciding to save the information about his past self for last. She moved on to the folder about the experiments.

"According to this...you're basically a brainwashed human weapon. Your superhuman strength and mechanical arm make you almost untouchable. HYDRA places you under a machine that literally erases your mind after every mission that they send you on. Apparently they sedate you or freeze you afterward, so you're never out in the world unless you're doing work for them. The instability of your mind would explain you blacking out and trying to kill me..."

Bucky stared at the screen, heart pounding, as the woman read the information to him. He felt furious and numb and defeated and psychotic. He wanted to destroy all of them, every last surviving member of HYDRA. He clenched his fists, breathing becoming shallow. The overwhelming rage was boiling up inside of him again. But it was thrown off course as he jumped in surprise, feeling a hand placed very lightly on his knee for a moment.

"Bucky...breathe. We've barely scratched the surface of this file. There's a lot in here. If I'm going to help you, you need to control yourself."

He turned to face her and the rage bubbled down to a mere simmer. He sighed.

"People keep calling me Bucky...but the only name I have ever known is the Winter Soldier. There's more in that file that you haven't shown me, isn't there?"

He watched as she hesitated for a moment before clicking another folder.

"I don't really know much about formalities...considering I kill people for a living. But I guess I should ask you what your name is?"

The corners of the woman's mouth turned up ever so slightly in amusement at the way he had addressed the topic.

"I'm Lydia. Lydia Fortona."

He nodded, repeating her name in his head a few times. It seemed to spark a memory for a moment, but faded just as fast. He shook it off because his mind wasn't exactly reliable at the moment.

"Bucky. Your real name is James Buchanan Barnes..."

Bucky's mind swam furiously as mental waves crested and crashed, taking in the information that Lydia was telling him. He had been in the army. He had supposedly fallen to his death. He was frozen and he survived. Soviets found him and took advantage of him. The super soldier serum, running in his veins from the tests done at the HYDRA station when his troop had been captured, provoked them to turn him into a weapon. His arm was gone, so they gave him an all-powerful bionic one. He became HYDRA's ultimate assassin, frozen and unfrozen over the years whenever he was needed. Lydia's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Do you remember the man you were assigned to kill today?"

Bucky nodded, thinking back to the man that he had saved from drowning after the man refused to fight him. He didn't understand why he had saved him. Something had tugged furiously at his mind and his heart. The way the man desperately called him Bucky. The defeated look in his eyes.

"His name is Steve Rogers. He was your best friend in the entire world in your past life. The life you can't remember."

He put his head in his hands, sighing deeply.

"This is too much right now. How do I know all of this is true? What if he was involved in all of this? I don't know who the hell I can trust."

He looked up as he felt a tug on his arm. Lydia went to make a move toward him, but froze as they locked eyes. She shook her head, and then quickly grabbed both of his large, rough hands in her small, smooth ones.

"Listen, I understand what it feels like to want answers. Your whole life feels like it's crashing down and it's really difficult to survive alone when you feel this lost. But I'm here and I want to help you, because you deserve it. I'm still afraid of you, but you saved me back there. I owe you this much."

Bucky wasn't sure how to react in this emotional moment. Emotions beyond anger and rage were foreign to him. He felt strange and...vulnerable almost.

"Thank you...Lydia"


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: Three chapters in my first day?!_**  
**_I couldn't help myself. I had to keep writing._**

* * *

"You probably want to get out of those clothes. My brother used to live with me and he left some of his clothes here. I'll grab you something to change into."

Lydia returned a few minutes later with a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt and handed them to Bucky. He thanked her as she directed him toward the bathroom and encouraged him to use the shower if he wanted. Meanwhile, she settled back down on the couch and began to read more of his file. She came across a few photos, ancient sepia toned photos of a handsome man in an army soldier's outfit. Her heart ached in sadness as she stared at the soul and life that radiated from his eyes. Eyes that were now filled with pain, confusion, and hurt. She felt herself longing to find a way to allow Bucky to become that man again. She couldn't understand why she felt so incredibly drawn to help him. He wasn't her responsibility. She already had a job she was supposed to be doing. But Bucky needed someone.

The sound of Bucky's voice broke through her thoughts,

"Lydia? Um..sorry. I don't want to make your soap bar filthy. Do you have another?"

She glanced up from the laptop and found herself staring at Bucky. A very unclothed Bucky. He wore nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, his bruised and bloody body glistening with water droplets. She momentarily lost her ability to speak as he had caught her completely off guard.

"Oh..yes..right! Sorry I didn't even think of that, hah!"

Lydia set up a comfortable sleeping arrangement on the couch for Bucky while he finished showering, with plenty of pillows and blankets. She was positive he hadn't experienced a comfortable night's sleep since before his past self joined the army, and she wanted to make him as comfortable as possible. He deserved it. After all...he wasn't a villain. He was a man trapped inside a monster...

Later that night, Lydia's dreamless sleep was interrupted by screaming. Screams filled with agony. She quickly jumped out of bed, grabbing the nearest large object...a heavy book on her dresser. She flicked on the light in the living room, preparing to swing. Her eyes quickly scanned the room, looking for the cause of the commotion. She saw Bucky sitting up on the couch, head buried in his hands, hands gripping his disheveled hair. She set the book down and slowly approached him, carefully sitting down beside him.

"Bucky..."

He lifted his head from his hands and she grabbed onto the couch cushions, hoping she wasn't in danger. But when his eyes met hers, the fear melted away and was replaced by an aching sadness as she surveyed the pain in his tired, red eyes.

"There's so much blood on my hands...so many people dead because of me. Their faces...I could see them so clearly...their screams...I've never been able to remember what I've done...there was so much blood..."

Bucky's voice was strangled and strained, breaking near the end as he choked back a sob.

"It's not your fault...you were brainwashed, Bucky..."

Bucky raised his voice and hysterically shouted,

"HOW IS IT NOT MY FAULT IF I CAN REMEMBER DOING IT!? I COULD PRACTICALLY SMELL THE POOLS OF BLOOD THAT WERE FLOODING MY MIND!"

His put his head in his hands again and his body shuddered. Lydia moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. The killing machine, now nothing more than a broken man. Reduced to some purgatory between the Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes. He was so far gone from both of these things. She shivered when she made contact with the metal of his cybernetic arm. He let loose miserable and angry sobs as she held him tightly. He gasped for air and grabbed her hands with his, holding her even tighter against him.

* * *

Bucky awoke to blinding sunlight pouring through the living room windows and a strong and appetizing scent he didn't recognize. He stretched and stood up, running his good hand through his messy hair. He followed the scent to the kitchen and found Lydia cooking.

"Hey...good morning. Last night was a little rough. I hope you managed get some rest?"

Bucky's tired mind struggled to remember the events of the night before. His mind was not used to being awake and in the world, fully stimulated, for long periods of time. His memory was slowly being trained to work on recall, now that his mind wasn't shuddering from the constant fear of the electrodes that wiped it clean so very often. He felt a lump in his throat as he remembered his breakdown. The breakdown Lydia had to watch.

"I'm really sorry about that...look. I basically forced you into this. But you gave me some really important information. After last night, I'm not sure if me being here is safe for you. You don't even know me. It's not your job to take care of a wounded soldier."

Lydia grabbed his arm and pulled him to the table, pulling out a chair and pushing him to sit down in it. She put a plate stacked full of appetizing food that Bucky wasn't the least bit familiar with...at least not during his life as an assassin.

"Nonsense. Listen, Bucky. I've been dealt some pretty rough cards in my life. I think I can handle your baggage."

Bucky was about to ask her what she meant by those rough cards, but she ushered him to begin eating. The taste of the food was overwhelming. He strained to remember why this food was so foreign to him, and hazily remembered that HYDRA had kept him on a strict, bland diet. A diet consisting of mushy, soupy, nutritional drinks for the most part.

He thanked Lydia again and again as she continued to treat him more kindly than a man with his track record deserved. She pulled out more of her brother's old clothing so Bucky could change out of the clothes that he had slept in.

Lydia left him alone in the living room while she went to take a shower. Bucky walked around the room, looking at the paintings hung up on the walls and her belongings that decorated the room. She was a kind woman, an extremely kind and caring woman that didn't deserve to get mixed up in his dark and tortured life. He couldn't bring her down with him. He wondered if this was what a sentimental emotion was meant to feel like. He felt raw and sore inside as the feeling tenderly tiptoed across what was once pure sadistic rage. He knew that her hospitality warranted a proper goodbye, but he had enough trouble handling these strange new emotions in his head, let alone face-to-face.

He picked up the light jacket and baseball cap that were lying on the arm of the couch. They were a stark contrast to his regular attire, topped off with jeans and sneakers. But he needed to blend in.

He opened the door to the apartment and glanced back at the closed bathroom door and said quietly,

"Thank you, Lydia...I'm sorry..."

* * *

_**A/N: Little bit of a cliffhanger there. Sorry!**_  
_ **I'll have Chapter 4 written soon enough :)**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Thank you so much again to everyone who reviewed!**_  
_ **And thank you to everyone who's reading!**_

* * *

Bucky stared up at the large picture of himself, reading the long paragraph of words beside it. After his departure, he aimlessly walked around town. He came across a large building called the Smithsonian, currently decorated with signs about a Captain America exhibit. He snorted and snuck past the payment desk to get a look for himself.

He soon came to realize that perhaps the file hadn't been a lie. The words told the same story that Lydia had shown him the night before. He walked around and observed the rest of the exhibit. Strange memories began to surge into his mind at their own will. He looked at the photos and the outfits and his mind began to reveal tidbits of a time when he lived within those pictures. His breath hitched in his throat as he stood in front of a photo of him and a very young, small Steve. He shuddered as feelings of familiarity trickled through his body.

He had tried to kill this man. He had been ordered to destroy him and rid the world of their star spangled hero. He felt ashamed. He was a bad person. He had done terrible things. The familiar bubbling anger crept up through this body, an all-consuming monster that his body was programmed to obey. He needed to find a way to fight off these emotions. Bucky was determined to get his life back.

He flexed his fingers, the flesh ones and the metal ones. Breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, he slowly pushed the anger back down into the depths of his cage of emotions. A tinge of regret surfaced as his thoughts drifted to the kind, soft-eyed woman, Lydia. He knew she was probably troubled by his disappearance, but she seemed like a nice woman...too nice to be involved with him. Not to mention, she worked for S.H.I.E.L.D., an organization whose surviving members wouldn't hesitate to obliterate him on the spot.

"Honestly...? I would have thought a soldier would be a bit more tactful about disappearing..."

Bucky's face reddened as he turned to face an amused yet concerned looking Lydia.

"Lydia...you shouldn't be here."

"But you thought it was safe for you and your mentally unstable self to take a little stroll through a very public place? Hmm...I still think you need me around."

Bucky scoffed at her last remark. He could kill her effortlessly. She wasn't safe around him when his emotions were so unpredictable. He was about to protest until she grabbed his hand in hers and pulled him toward the exit.

"I don't care if you don't want my help. I'm here and you're stuck with me."

He sighed as they exited the building and she led him down the sidewalk. Her face flushed and she dropped his hand when she realized she was still holding it.

"So what exactly do you plan on doing now, then?"

"Well, you left my apartment before I could tell you my idea. I think that you need to talk to Steve."

Bucky stopped walking and stared at her.

"I don't know if I can handle a walk down memory lane with that gu-..."

Lydia cut him off mid sentence and pulled him into the doorway of a shop. She pulled him tightly against her so his back was to the street. Her hands were balled into fists as she gripped the front of his shirt. They were so close that he could feel her erratic heartbeat and her breath hot on his neck.

"Lydia...?"

She looked up at him and quickly brought a finger to his lips. They stood there for another minute, eyes locked, as Bucky patiently waited for an explanation. Then she gently pushed him backward.

"Sorry. A few surviving agents just passed by. The last thing I need is them trying to hand you over to Nick Fury. We need to get Steve involved before we go waltzing up to the big guy. I'm sort of important but Steve has a way with words."

"So you're really not giving me a choice, huh? Unless I skip town..."

Lydia smirked.

"But you won't."

Bucky rolled his eyes.

"You realize that I could take down every single person walking on this street right now without breaking a sweat? What happens when I snap out of nowhere and you're in danger?"

She smiled.

"Then Captain America comes to the rescue. I hear that the two of you are matched toe-to-toe."

"Rescue...huh? So you and this Steve guy.."

Lydia laughed.

"Oh no, god no. We're friends. He's a great guy but pretty and blond isn't really my type..."

They walked side by side, back in the direction of Lydia's apartment. He agreed to meet with Steve the following day because her eager persistence had worn down his resistance. She spent the rest of the day reading the entirety of his file with him, including all of the smaller details they had skimmed over the night before. Bucky took in the information with mixed feelings, anxious to learn yet disgusted at what his life had become.

* * *

Lydia led Bucky up to the roof of the apartment building as the day grew later. She laid down a blanket on the concrete and sat down, patting the spot beside her so Bucky would join her. He sat down with a confused expression written across his face.

"What exactly are we doing up here?"

She smiled and explained,

"Well, Bucky, I can guarantee that you haven't watched a sunset since the 40's. If you're going to get back to a normal life, you need to do some normal things."

As they watched the deep colors explode across the darkening sky, Lydia was extremely aware of the few inches of space between them. She glanced over at Bucky, his eyes taking in the splendid scene before them. She studied his side profile, admiring his features. She could see the handsome version of his past self peeking through the cracks of the rough exterior he had been forced to build over the years. A small smile spread across her face as she closed her eyes and tilted her head back, basking in the glow of the day's final act.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Bucky turned to look at Lydia, observing her as her eyes were still closed, and quietly replied,

"Very..."

_[Later that evening]_

Bucky was on his back on the couch, staring up at the shadows a streetlight cast on the ceiling. Lydia had insisted he take the bed for a night but he refused. He felt that his presence was inconveniencing her enough as it was. His thoughts were interrupted by sounds of struggle coming from Lydia's room. His body was standing up and running before his mind could even think to react. He threw the door open and wildly looked around the room for an intruder. He had a sick feeling that HYDRA was coming for him. He saw nothing, though. Nothing besides Lydia, curled up in bed, whimpering and sniffling.

"Lydia...are you okay...?"

She didn't respond for a moment. Then she cried out,

"Aaron! You're alive! Oh god...you're alive..."

"Lydia...?"

He approached her to find her eyes were closed. She was talking in her sleep. She seemed to quiet down for a few moments, until her chest started heaving again. She began to sob as she yelled,

"No! PLEASE! You can't leave me again. AARON!"

Bucky's heart pounded. He had no idea who Aaron was or what was happening in her mind, but seeing her that upset made him feel sick with sadness. He hesitated for a moment, and then let his emotions win over his better judgment as he walked to the other side of the bed. He felt too awkward to slide under the covers, and besides that he didn't want to make Lydia feel uncomfortable either. He turned to face her, her back was to him, and wrapped his good arm around her and held her close. Her hair tickled his nose as he inhaled the sweet scent of her shampoo. Her sobbing slowed down to quiet sniffles and then eventually even breathing as she fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

Lydia awoke the next morning, rolled over, and stretched out on her bed. She yawned and stood up, walking to her closet to get changed. She walked out into the living room to find Bucky already awake and reading a newspaper.

"Hey Bucky. Did you sleep alright last night?"

He nodded, awkwardly wondering if she remembered his presence.

"Hmmph. I had some awful nightmares. But it was strange because of nowhere they immediately stopped and I remember feeling happy and relaxed for no reason at all. Then I was able to sleep okay for the rest of the night."

Bucky was considering questioning her about what she had said in her sleep, but his thoughts dispersed when there was a knock at the door. Lydia shot him a wary look, hoping he was prepared.

"That'll be Steve."


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: Thanks once again to everyone who reviewed or even just read the last chapter!_**  
**_I apologize that the chapters have been a bit short. Personally I prefer to read fics with long chapters...but I just get so excited to upload what I've written!_**  
**_Anyways, enjoy!_**

**_(Also, I'm hoping some of you stayed for the VERY last clip after the TWS credits...cause that's where my inspiration for the opening of the last chapter came from! I forgot to mention that.)_**

* * *

Steve Rogers walked through the door and Bucky felt a torrent of emotions crash down on him. Memories and feelings that were still buried deep inside of him, out of his conscious grasp, were trying to float to the surface. Steve walked up to Bucky and stared at him for a moment before hugging him tightly. Bucky stood there awkwardly for a moment before hugging him back. Steve pulled back and said,

"Sorry if that was uncalled for...I've just really missed my best friend."

Bucky nodded.

"Well...I'm sorry I tried to kill you. My only lame excuse is an incredible amount of brain washing. Science is amazing, huh?"

The two exchanged a laugh as Lydia watched them with a smile on her face. The three of them then sat down in the kitchen drinking coffees that Lydia had made. Steve filled Bucky in on an overview of the nature of the events from the past few days. Bucky may have been involved, but his single and solitary objective in the mission had been to take down his targets. He had no idea about the dark secrets that had finally come to light.

He had felt apprehensive at first when Steve arrived. But as the hours passed, the two fell back into a comfortable and friendly rapport. It came naturally for them, even if Bucky wasn't fully aware of it.

"So Bucky, listen. I was thinking. I haven't been defrosted that long. I'm still learning how to adjust to this new world. And I don't think being an assassin left you much time for sightseeing. I think we would both benefit from getting out for a bit. I'm sure Lydia could use a little break from you and me, right?"

"Hey!" she protested, "For your information, I was also putting together some plans to help Bucky adjust! But I guess he could use some male bonding time..."

* * *

Steve and Bucky spent the afternoon together. Steve spent most of it telling Bucky old tales about the two of them, adventures they had gone on and situations they had survived. As Steve described the memories, Bucky saw fleeting images in his head here and there. Steve worked to help him coax the old Bucky out from where he was buried.

As the day grew later, Bucky felt a headache coming on. The pain was dull but incredibly annoying. He did his best to ignore it as Steve talked.

"Hey Bucky, did you hear me? I said we should get back to Lydia's. It's going to be dark soon and there's somewhere we need to be tonight."

Bucky frowned as the incessant buzz in his head faded to a quiet whisper. He nodded and they turned around.

Lydia was parked outside and waiting for them in a small, black car. Bucky asked,

"So, should I just wait inside for you guys?"

Lydia leaned her head out the window and said,

"Oh no. You're coming with us. Tonight is a very important night."

Bucky quirked an eyebrow as he got into the passenger seat at her request and Steve climbed in the back. She began to drive and gently placed a hand on Bucky's knee. She carefully said,

"We're going to see Nick Fury. I can't avoid him any longer and for a man with only one good eye, it's incredibly hard to hide something from him."

Bucky brushed her hand away in irritation as he clenched his fists. He immediately regretted it though as he saw the slight downward twitch of her lips, but he didn't know if he was ready for this. He barely trusted himself around Lydia and Steve. Nick Fury wouldn't hesitate to kill him if he made one wrong move. Bucky had almost killed Fury first, after all.

They drove for a while in silence until Lydia finally slowed down and parked. They approached a very plain and inconspicuous building. Apparently, whatever was left of S.H.I.E.L.D. was operating in a hidden place for the time being. After many steps and turns and elevator rides, they arrived in front of a blank white door. Lydia pressed two fingers against the center of it and it slid aside.

Bucky fidgeted nervously as he trailed behind Steve and Lydia. They both assured him he had nothing to worry about, but his headache persisted once more as he tried to stay calm.

"Captain Rogers. Agent Fortona. I'm glad to see you both in one piece. May I ask why you've got a straggler lurking behind you?"

Steve and Lydia stepped aside to reveal The Winter Soldier to Nick Fury. A soldier stripped of his mask, his weapons, and his armor. He wore nothing more than his scraggly hair and a downcast look upon his face. Fury narrowed his eyes and brushed his hand across the weapon holstered at his hip. Steve quickly put his hand out.

"Nick, listen. This is-"

Fury snapped and cut him off,

"Oh I know who this is. Mr. James Buchanan Barnes. The Winter Soldier. A brainwashed assassin who tried to kill us all and also your former best friend."

The three of them stared at Director Fury in shock, not quite understanding his knowledge of the situation.

"Rogers, I knew all about it. I know everything that goes on everywhere. A few...things...may slip through the cracks here and there, but I was well aware. I made damn sure that you never found out because you would have carted your ass on over there on a hellbent suicide mission if you knew. I couldn't afford to lose you."

Steve angrily replied,

"So you let me defrost and continue to think my best friend was dead? Real charming. Well listen, you're going to loosen your grip on the weapon at your waist and let him walk. Because I'm taking full responsibility for him now. He's recovering."

Fury looked as if he was prepared to argue for a moment, but thought better of it. He knew there were more important matters at hand.

"Fortona, the briefcase?"

Lydia nodded and handed him the precious cargo she had rescued from the destruction.

"By the way, Agent. I appreciate this. Perhaps if we ever rebuild, I'll make sure your next office has a nice view."

Lydia smiled, knowing this was about as close to a thanks as she would get with Nick Fury. They spent the rest of the visit being debriefed on what the next plan of action was. The agency planned to lay low for a while so they could sort through who was left and figure out where to go from there. Nick relieved Lydia of any on-site duties, stating that he wanted to give her a break after what she had been through. However, she had a sinking feeling he really just wanted her to keep tabs on Bucky and Steve.

_[Later]_

They arrived back at Lydia's apartment. Steve asked Lydia to speak with him, so she handed Bucky her keys so he could go inside.

"Lyd...be careful, okay?"

"Steve, c'mon. I'll be fine. Bucky won't hurt me."

"Just don't get too attached. I saw you two in the car. That monster is still inside of him somewhere."

"Don't be ridiculous, Steve. I'm just trying to help him. He needs both of us now."

Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

_[Meanwhile]_

Bucky settled down on the couch. He glanced around the room until his eyes fell upon a thick, deep mahogany book lying nearby. Intrigued, he walked over to it and picked it up. It was a photo album. He glanced around, expecting Lydia to pop in the door any second, before he sat back down. He opened the book, the first page containing a photo of a very happy looking and slightly younger Lydia surrounded by three other similar looking people, two of them older and one around her age. _God, she's beautiful when she smiles,_ he thought. His eyes then fell upon the boy beside her. He looked incredibly familiar... and it wasn't just because of shared family features. Bucky's concentration was broken as the door creaked open and he nearly threw the book onto the coffee table. He shot Lydia a guilty smile.

"Oh dear. I hope you didn't get too far into that. There are some pretty bad photos in there..."

Bucky grinned and shook his head.

_[Later that evening]_

_Pain...she felt so much pain. Her heart ached. Where was he? What happened to him?_

Lydia tossed and turned in her sleep, her groans and whimpers from the nightmare eventually turning into heavy sobs for yet another night. She was vaguely aware of a presence in the room. She felt strong arms wrap around her but she couldn't wake up.

_She was running...running...running into an abyss. He was gone. It was all her fault. If she had just..._

Lydia awoke to a hand gently cradling her face and another, colder one nudging her shoulder.

"Lydia...Lydia...please wake up."

She opened her eyes and found herself staring directly into Bucky's intense and worried gaze. She jumped backwards slightly, and he quickly drew his hands back.

"Bucky?! What the...?"

"I'm sorry! Please, don't be angry. I know this is a bit odd. But you were crying and yelling so loud. I was worried and I didn't want to scare you when I woke you up."

She relaxed, feeling a warmth inside of her that made her cheeks flush.

"Oh, Bucky. No, I'm sorry. I should have warned you about my nightmares. They come and they go..."

"Its okay. But Lydia...who's Aaron? You kept saying his name..."

She sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead.

"He was my brother. Or...well...he is my brother. I don't know how to say it, because I don't know where he is or what happened to him."

Bucky frowned and cautiously laid his hand on her wrist, his eyes coaxing her to go on. She felt warmth radiate within her again from his touch.

"Well...he used to live with me. He actually used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. as well. We were really close. The agency offered him a spot on a field mission. It wasn't dangerous, it was strictly just meant for seeking out information. He was on the fence about going, because he was more of an indoors-mission kind of guy. But he was one of the best IT guys they had, and I knew they needed him. So I convinced him to go. The headquarters tracked the group on their mission until they were suddenly wiped off the grid. Two of the men returned weeks later...but they had no memory of what had happened to them..."

As the last words fell from her mouth, Bucky's heart sank as the pieces finally fell together. For the first time, a very clear and vivid memory replayed in his head. He understood why Lydia's last name sounded so familiar, and why the family photo album jogged a curious feeling within him.

"Lydia...I know what happened to your brother."

Lydia struggled to keep her composure as Bucky relayed the story. These memories had been erased from his mind like all the others, but they had now returned to him and played in his mind like a movie. He told her how Aaron's group had been captured by HYDRA. Their mission in Russia had nothing to do with the Soviet Agency, but HYDRA had immediately recognized the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and detained them, taking them back to their headquarters. They had a malicious plan. S.H.I.E.L.D. was really making things difficult for them, even if they had enough rats lurking within the headquarters. They were anxious to make a move, but they knew it was too soon. So they decided to have a bit of fun and use the captured Agents as lab rats. They were planning their attack where they would use the Winter Soldier and they wanted more like him, so they attempted to clone Bucky's condition. They ran endless tests on the men. They were tortured and beaten and worn down. Bucky was forced to watch all of it. The doctors wanted his input and suggestions. Bucky had been involved until he came across the men's personal belongings late one night. He looked through their S.H.I.E.L.D. ID cards, reading each of their names. They were people...innocent people. Just as Bucky's long buried emotional switch had begun to quiver slightly, the doctors caught him and sedated him. They scorched his brain with high voltage electrodes to reset him. They removed him from the area of the experiments, but he remembered one day, overhearing the doctors discussing the failed results. All but two of the men had died. They had brainwashed the surviving two and sent them back home, leaving no dirty trail of what had occurred...

When Bucky finished, Lydia's eyes were wide. Her lower lip trembled. And she cried. She cried and cried and cried until her throat and chest ached. Bucky awkwardly moved to comfort her and she threw her arms around him. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, inhaling a woodsy scent as she felt the prickle of his stubbly facial hair. He held her tight and she grasped onto him as if her life depended on it.

_[Next morning]_

Lydia awoke to find herself alone in the bed. She couldn't remember Bucky leaving during the night. She felt slightly disappointed, as his company had a calming effect on her. As she got dressed, she mentally prepared herself to face him in the living room. The night before had been quite emotional and almost intimate, and she felt her cheeks burn as she imagined how awkward she must have made him feel.

She stepped out of her bedroom to an empty living room. She walked into the kitchen and still saw no signs of Bucky. The bathroom was vacant as well. She slowly sat down on the couch, perplexed. A thought popped into her head. _*Plausible*..._

Lydia pushed the door opened and shaded her eyes as she stepped out onto the rooftop of the apartment building. The loose gravel crunched beneath her feet as she walked. She spotted Bucky off to the far corner. His back was to her and he was looking out at the city. She smiled and called out to him in an amused voice,

"Bucky!"

No response.

"Bucky! Hey! Please don't tell me you're sleepwalking..."

Still no response. Lydia's phone began to ring from within her pocket. She furrowed her brows as she looked at it. Nick Fury was calling her. She stole another glance at Bucky before answering the call.

"Hello?"

"Agent Fortona, I have urgent matters to discuss with you regarding information we decoded from the files you saved. But first, I suggest you get to a safe place. Fast."

"What the hell is going on, Fury?"

In that moment, Bucky turned to look at her.

"Bucky Barnes has been compromised. They're still controlling him."

"That's impossible!"

Bucky's eyes were dark and a malicious smile spread across his face.

"Fortona, listen to me. They injected him with a serum before sending him out on the last mission. They knew there was a chance that this would happen. They can track him and they're able to activate The Winter Soldier within him."

Bucky approached her and swiped the phone from her hands. It clattered to the ground. He wore a menacing expression. He backed her up against the storage unit that was on the roof. He placed his hands on either side of her above her head and leaned in so close she could feel his hot breath on her face. Lydia's erratic heartbeat made it difficult for her to breathe. There was a dead look in his eyes.

"Bucky...please. It's me. Lydia."

He stared at her like he was looking through her. He lifted his arm and brushed her hair back behind her ear. Lydia stopped breathing when he leaned in and brought his lips to her ear.

"I don't care who you are."

The words sent shivers throughout her body. She panicked. She had to do something. So she slapped him. Then she grabbed the front of his shirt and shook him while she yelled,

"BUCKY. STOP. ITS ME. STOP IT!"

She grabbed his rough cheeks in her hands. She looked into his eyes, pleading him to remember. She dropped her voice to a whisper,

"Please Bucky...don't do this..."

A flash of recognition flickered in Bucky's stormy eyes. His angry glare faltered as a confused look spread across his face. Then his face contorted in pain. He lowered his arms and brought his hand to his head. He groaned and choked out,

"I don't know what's happening to me Lydia. I can't control it. You need to get away from me so I don't hurt you."

"I'm not leaving you.'

They stared at each other in silence for a few moments. Bucky reached out to touch her face again, but stopped midway and dropped to the ground yelping in pain. Lydia crouched down beside him and gently put her hand on his shoulder. Without warning, he pushed her backward with enough force to knock her down. His words came out strangled as he spoke through his teeth,

"Lydia...LEAVE ME ALONE. It's too hard to resist the urge to kill you. I'm sorry..."

He stared into her terrified eyes with a sorrowful and pained look and then stood up and took off running. He jumped from rooftop to rooftop and then disappeared...


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: Thank you so much for reviewing, everyone! My semester is almost finished so I'll have plenty more free time to write :)_**

* * *

_The world around him seemed dark and hazy, as if it was blanketed by a translucent curtain. _  
_His body controlled itself, heading toward its own destination. _  
_He felt as if his conscious-self was trapped, fighting for control over the monster that had broken free.._

* * *

The weeks that followed were nothing short of a headache for Lydia. Steve had come bursting out onto the roof moments after Bucky disappeared. He had insisted Lydia needed to partake in helping S.H.I.E.L.D. prepare for what was to come, despite her emotional investment in the ordeal. In reality, he just wanted to make sure she was safe and not by herself. So she halfheartedly attended meetings while Nick Fury fired questions at her to see if she had any useful information about the Winter Soldier.

Her heart sunk as they mapped out offensive and defensive tactics in anticipation of the Winter Soldier's return. She and Steve would occasionally exchange a pained look at the mention of '_destroying the enemy_'. They were the only two people that still believed Bucky could be saved, yet they knew tracking him down was far too dangerous. Although Lydia suspected Steve was secretly making his own plans and choosing to leave her in the dark.

When she left the building that evening, the sky was dark and void of any stars. A light rain had just begun to fall. She let loose a sigh of exhaustion as she sat down in the driver's seat of her car.

"Don't make a sound."

Lydia's heart stopped as she felt something cold grasp her arm from behind her. An arm snaked around from the other side and she felt a knife against her throat.

"Drive back to your apartment."

Her hands shook slightly as she gripped the steering wheel with one hand and started the car with the other. She found the courage to look into the rear view mirror and two vacant eyes were staring back at her. A lump formed in her throat as she tried to keep her breathing steady. She felt a drop of perspiration slide down the side of her face.

When they arrived at her apartment, Lydia slowly exited the car. There was nowhere she could run. The street was dark, silent, and empty. Her hands were tightly pulled behind her back as she was pushed toward the building. She took a deep breath and used all of her strength to wrench herself free. She spun around and grabbed the front of his jacket as he growled and pushed her again the wall. She looked up into his eyes and stuttered,

"B-B-Bucky...don't do this..."

His angry mask faltered slightly as he released her and slowly took a few steps backward. He opened his mouth, as if to speak, but he was interrupted by the arrival of six men in black attire.

"Soldier, you've done enough. We'll take it from here."

Bucky turned to look at her one last time before he walked toward the plain van that was now parked behind Lydia's car. She was vaguely aware of the pinch of a needle in her arm before she blacked out.

* * *

Bucky slowly sat down in the reclining chair and turned to look at the doctors that surrounded him.

"What are you going to do to her?"

One of the doctors smiled malevolently before he said,

"Punish her for what she has done."

Bucky struggled to continue to gain control over the monster as he spoke. Every second that he had control was an intense and painful battle.

"I won't let you touch her."

The doctors exchanged amused glances as they chuckled at his remark.

"Oh...don't worry about that. The only person that's going to be hurting her is you."

Before he could protest or fight back the machine behind him clamped down on his head and a mouth guard was shoved into his mouth.

* * *

Lydia awoke to the distant sound of screams of agony. She opened her eyes only to find herself in an unfamiliar place. The room was completely white and empty other than the small cot she was on and a toilet and a sink in the corner. There was also a door but it didn't have a handle.

_Where am I?_

She reached into her pocket for her phone only to be disappointed. It was gone, along with all of her other belongings. The last thing she could remember was..._Bucky_.

The door opened moments later and a man walked in. To Lydia's horror, it was one of the men that Bucky had saved her from the day of the destruction. She tried to remain composed as he approached her.

"Hello, Lydia."

She took a deep breath before she spoke.

"Where am I?"

The man smirked.

"Now, where are your manners? You're supposed to ask my name! I am Abram Azarov. Thank you for asking."

His thick Russian accent told Lydia exactly where she was. HYDRA had found her. He continued speaking,

"Miss Fortona, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. Your brother was quite...charming."

He said the last word with a very sick and twisted smile plastered across his face. Lydia fought to refrain from lunging at him. She spat out,

"What do you want from me?"

Azarov sat down beside her and placed a hand on her knee. She tried to recoil from his touch but he held her firmly.

"You didn't think you could steal our files without consequences, did you? I thought it would be delightful to give you the same fate as your brother. I do quite enjoy doing business with a family."

Lydia shook her head in disbelief as her heart pounded in terror.

"What took you so long to find me? I know what you did to Bucky. You could have easily flipped his switch and captured me that day."

Azarov shook his head.

"Oh no, my dear. We thought it would be much more fun to let both you and S.H.I.E.L.D. think you had the upper hand. It was a bonus that you and the Winter Soldier grew oh so close. You should have heard him when he finally arrived here...he wouldn't stop screaming out your name when we did his first round of mind cleansing. I'm a man that truly appreciates emotion. And there will be nothing more intimate than the moment that he kills you."

* * *

_Lydia? ..._

He tossed and turned. Her face haunted his dreams. The guilt for what he had done ate away at him, even though he hadn't had a choice in the matter. He was quickly losing the energy to continue battling against The Winter Soldier within him. Sleep was the only time the monster disappeared and he was left undisturbed in his mind. He feared when they would make him face her. Hurting her any more than he already had would destroy him. Azarov knew that using him against Lydia would push him past the point of no return. Bucky would be gone and the monster would truly take over.

His eyes shot open at the sound of a bloodcurdling scream.

* * *

_Darkness..._

_Pain..._

Lydia moaned and whimpered in her sleep. Her nightmares were relentless, refusing to give her a break despite her unfortunate situation.

_Blood...everywhere..._

The waves of the nightmare reached their crest as she screamed in her sleep. She was abruptly woken up by the door in the cell being wrenched open.

_Bucky..._

He stood there, hair sticking up in every direction, his tired eyes overcome with panic as they frantically scanned the room. His body seemed to relax when he realized Lydia was alone in the room. He took a step forward.

"Lydia."

He collapsed to the ground. Three men surrounded him, holding weapons that hummed and glowed with high voltage electricity. Tears fell down her cheeks as she watched them haul him away. Within a few moments she heard Bucky's voice pierce through the silence of the building as they reset his mind once more.

_[A few days later]_

Lydia was losing track of time. Her only human contact occurred twice a day when the door to her cell swung open and a tray with a bland meal was handed to her. She had an uneasy hunch that they were preparing an awful punishment for her. There was absolutely nothing she could do.

She was on her back on the cot, staring up at the ceiling. The door to the room opened and she sat up immediately. Her heart pounded furiously. She had started to become slightly accustomed to the two daily times that the door would be opened. This was not either of those times.

Azarov walked up to her as she sat on the edge of the cot, staring at her feet. He gently grabbed her chin and tilted it upwards to face him.

"Hello, darling. I have arranged a date for you and your dear Winter Soldier today. You will pleased to hear that this may be a bit more...physical...than the last time when he burst into this cell."

Lydia squeezed her hands tightly together as her mind raced for impossible solutions. Two guards entered the room and roughly grabbed either of her shoulders. They led her down a long, spotless, white hallway. They stopped in front of a door near the end of the hall. One guard quickly flashed a card attached to his jacket and the door slid open. They shoved her roughly inside the room before the door slammed shut. Lydia's eyes were wide as she looked around the room. It was very large and circular shaped. It was also completely bare other than a plain black door with no handle across from where she had entered. The black door slid open and the Winter Soldier stepped out. His face was adorned with a mask over his mouth and goggles over his eyes. A knife was held tight in his good hand. A voice that seemed to come from the ceiling rang out,

"Begin."

Lydia slowly backed up against the wall behind her. She was defenseless. Bucky swiftly approached her and brought the knife to her throat. He slowly traced it down her neck and across her collarbones. She wondered if he could hear her erratic heartbeat, because she felt as if it was about to burst out of her chest. She had no other options but to try, so she reached up and ripped the goggles off of his face. Their eyes met. His gaze was intense and unforgiving. He let the knife clatter to the ground as he brought his hand to her throat. She reacted quickly by kicking him as hard as he could. Although he was immensely stronger than her, it caught him off guard and he stumbled backward.

Lydia stood there for a moment as an idea formed in her head. She quickly reached down and grabbed the knife on the ground as the Winter Soldier stood back up. His eyes seemed to scoff at her foolish action, but they widened at what she did next.

She took a deep breath and bit her lip, searching for the courage to do it. Then, she gave in and brought the knife down upon her thigh. She whimpered in pain as the blade cut through her pants and broke the skin. A strangled cry left her lips as tears fell down her cheeks while she pushed the knife in further. Then, she quickly removed it and let it fall to the ground with a clatter as a ribbon of bright red blood began to pour down her leg. Lydia's pain threshold was extremely low, which caused her to fall to her knees as her body went into shock.

* * *

The Winter Soldier stood rigid, staring at the blood that began to stain the white floor. Bucky thrashed inside of his body, all of his senses and emotions exploding. Lydia glanced up at him, taking note that he hadn't moved. She reached for the knife once more and held it above her other leg.

_No._

He snapped and ripped the mask off of his mouth.

Bucky grabbed the knife from her hands and threw it at a wall on the opposite side of the room. The hidden two-way mirror shattered and the men behind it ducked down. However, they were not quick enough to evade the bullets that Bucky shot the second the glass went down.

He turned back to Lydia, who had slumped to her side as her eyes began to close. She had lost too much blood and her body wasn't able to handle the pain. His heart raced as he bent down and scooped her up into his arms. He kicked open the door that she had originally entered from as a piercing alarm began to wail. Guards began to fill the hallways as he ran, cradling Lydia's limp body. His superior speed gave him the upper hand, although he was not able to take the guards down. Gunshots rang out as bullets sunk into his back. He could handle the pain but it hindered him slightly. A bullet sunk into the back of his thigh and he almost stumbled, but he continued to run even as his wounds ached for the chance to rest. He felt the serum within his body begin to fizzle, attempting to awaken the Winter Soldier once more. Bucky looked down at Lydia's pained face as he held her in his arms and resisted HYDRA's control. He wouldn't let them take her away from him again.

* * *

Lydia opened her eyes, only to be met with darkness. She attempted to move but strong arms held her tight against a warm body that was behind her. Memories of what had happened flooded into her mind as the wound on her thigh began to ache again. Panic coursed through her as she began to flail wildly.

"Lydia! It's okay! Relax, we're safe."

A look of confusion spread across her face as the grip on her relaxed and she rolled over and came nose to nose with Bucky. His eyes were soft and full of concern. Lydia felt a warm feeling bloom inside of her as he slowly brought a hand to her cheek.

"We're safe for now. They won't track me yet, because they'll have to catch me off guard. You need to rest, because tomorrow we're going to find a way home."

Lydia nodded as exhaustion flooded her weak body.

"Thank you for saving me from them, Bucky..."

Her voice trailed off as she fell back asleep.

Bucky brushed his lips against her forehead and whispered quietly,

"Thank you for saving me from myself..."


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: I'M SO SORRY! I really broke my streak for a few days there. Studying and finals have kept me insanely busy. I promise after this week I'll have much faster updates again!_**

**_Thank you once again to all of my awesome reviewers! It makes me so happy to see people are enjoying reading this. It motivates me to keep going!_**

* * *

A stream of bright sunlight poured through a small crack in the heavy curtains. Bucky awoke from his light sleep as he became aware of the daylight. He was on the verge of sitting up until he noticed Lydia's head was firmly planted on his chest as she slept. He relaxed and decided to let her rest a bit longer as the even sounds of her breathing lulled him back to sleep.

* * *

"Lydia...Lydia..."

The sound of her name paired with the feeling of a gentle nudge near her collarbone caused Lydia to slowly open her eyes. Her cheeks flushed as she lifted her head from Bucky's chest. He smiled.

"I'm sorry, I know you're probably tired. But we should really get going soon."

Lydia slowly sat up and looked around her. She took in the generic surroundings of a simple motel room.

"Bucky...how exactly did we end up in a motel room?"

"Well...I ran and carried you until the sun went down. I stopped in this small town and picked the lock on this room. I figured we were safe for the time being anyway and could use a decent night of sleep."

Lydia smiled as she replied,

"I'm sure glad you opted for this instead of a cave in the woods, because I could really use a shower before we get going."

* * *

Bucky sat on the bed, hands on his knees and eyes on the floor, as he patiently waited for Lydia to finish showering. He looked up, perplexed, as the bathroom door creaked open whilst the sound of running water still persisted. Lydia slowly walked out, her hair dripping wet, donning nothing more than a small white towel. Her cheeks turned a deep shade of red.

"Uhm...Bucky. I'm sorry if this seems a bit strange...but I almost passed out trying to clean the gash on my thigh. Do you think you could help me?"

Bucky was at a temporary loss for words, his mouth slightly agape. He had slept plastered against the girl, yet seeing her in a towel halfway across the room made him feel slightly nervous almost. Once he regained his composure he nodded and followed her back into the steamy bathroom.

Lydia sat down on the counter, towel still wrapped around her, as Bucky soaked a rag with warm water. The gash had reached an awful looking state and desperately required attention. Lydia quickly grabbed Bucky's free hand and squeezed it as he began to dab the bloody mess. She groaned and yelped occasionally as he wiped away the layers of dried blood amongst other unhealthy looking fluids. She eventually began to hold onto his shoulders as the pain grew worse, and said through gritted teeth,

"This is really pretty gross. I feel terrible for making you do this."

Bucky chuckled as he responded,

"Oh c'mon, Lydia. I've seen much worse. Don't doubt me."

She gave him a weak laugh that turned into a whimper as he wiped away the final chunk that was covering the wound. He gave her forearm a reassuring squeeze as he said,

"It's over, you can relax now."

Lydia let out an exasperated sigh as she slumped forward into Bucky's arms. He swiftly caught her and held on to her as her wet hair grazed his neck. Once again he felt a tingling feeling crawl within his inner walls as he helped her down off the counter. The feeling remained even as he closed the bathroom door behind him and sat back down on the bed to wait.

When Lydia finished, Bucky entered the bathroom to wash up. He quickly removed his shirt and turned to look at his back in the mirror.

"Bucky I'm sorry I forgot my-..."

Lydia trailed off as her eyes left the hairband that was perched on the edge of the tub and fell upon Bucky's shirtless figure. Her mouth fell open as she took in the array of wounds across his back. There were what looked to be lash marks, along with cuts, bruises, and other gruesome looking blemishes.

"Bucky..."

She carefully approached him and rested a hand on his back as he faced himself in the mirror. She peered around his tall figure so they were looking at one another through the mirror.

"They did this to you..."

He shrugged as he ran a hand through his messy, haphazard hair.

"Worse things have happened to me. It doesn't feel as bad as it looks. That's one of the perks of this supercharged blood running through my veins..."

Lydia picked up a clean rag, dampened it, and began to clean his wounds.

"Some of these look really intense, though. I can't believe how deep this one is..."

They locked eyes for a moment as Lydia poked her head out once more and faced the mirror. He sighed, contemplating responding.

"Well, those are from the bullets when we escaped. My body rejected the bullets before they could lodge themselves too far inside of me, at least."

Lydia frowned before wrapping him in a gentle hug from behind, careful not to disturb the wounds. Bucky almost laughed at how backwards it seemed, but he was overcome with a shiver throughout his body instead as she gently brought her lips to an unharmed spot on his back.

"You've saved my life twice now. I don't know how I'm ever going to thank you enough for this..."

He took a deep breath to steady his quickening heartbeat as he responded,

"I need you, Lydia. Having you around is more than enough. You've helped me more than you're aware of."

The two fell into a comfortable silence as she finished tending to his back.

* * *

"Pennsylvania."

A large, crinkled map was spread out on the diner table in front of them as they sat across from one another, examining their current location. Lydia took a sip of her coffee and responded,

"Well, this is great news. At least we're not incredibly far from D.C."

Bucky scratched his chin and said curiously,

"I just can't understand why they would set up a secret base here. S.H.I.E.L.D. could have easy found them..."

Lydia shook her head.

"I bet that's exactly why they did it. Nobody would have expected them to be foolish enough to construct a base this close."

Bucky nodded in agreement as she continued to speak.

"So I'm going to assume we have a couple of days before they will reactivate whatever is inside of you. Like you said, they'll need to catch you off guard. Therefore, we need to get back to D.C. today and figure out what we're going to do about that little problem."

* * *

Despite Lydia's ability to drive a knife through her leg without much thought, the idea of stealing a car in broad daylight just didn't sit well with her. Which was why she was nervously crouching behind a dumpster in a grocery store parking lot when Bucky pulled up nearby in their getaway vehicle.

"Bucky...I know I'm not perfect but I feel pretty bad for doing this..."

Bucky shot her a grin as he replied,

"Don't worry, there were literally a million tickets on this car about how it was going to be towed soon. Whoever it belongs to seems to have forgotten about it anyway."

Lydia rolled her eyes and smiled as Bucky turned onto the highway. He chuckled to himself, which earned a questioning glance from her.

"What's so funny?"

Bucky glanced over at her for a second before responding,

"Well...the last time I was in...or should I say on...a car...I think I ripped the steering wheel off."

Lydia's eyes grew wide.

"Bucky! Maybe I should drive..."

He laughed.

"Oh come on! I was under some serious monster mind control. I think I'm more than capable now. Plus I'm sure your leg is still throbbing."

Lydia glanced down at her leg, although she couldn't see the wound through her pants. She nodded as she felt the stinging ache once more, for she had forgotten about it in the midst of the morning's planning and events.

"Hmmph. I guess you're right..."

A peaceful silence fell over them as Lydia watched the road signs and billboards fly by.

"Lydia, tell me about yourself."

Lydia glanced over at Bucky as he stared at the road in front of him, slightly caught off guard.

"What do you mean?"

He shrugged.

"I don't know. We've spent a bit of time together, we almost died together, and yet I don't really know much about you. Besides the fact that your favorite color is maroon, judging by your home decorating choices."

Lydia shot him a small smile.

"Well, I'm 25 years old. I'm originally from New York. I was attending a university studying psychology when I managed to get caught up with S.H.I.E.L.D. somehow. I left New York to work for them and convinced my brother to come with me."

"Do you ever miss your life back in New York?"

"Of course. I miss my parents especially, because I don't get to see them much. Work has kept me pretty busy these past few years, and I can't exactly tell them what I do for a living. I do feel especially guilty that I couldn't drop everything to be supportive about when Aaron...disappeared..."

She trailed off and Bucky frowned, not wanting the conversation to turn in a sad direction. He reached over and squeezed her shoulder in a supportive manner as she continued talking.

"Sorry, I don't want to start getting emotional. Hey, what's your fav-...ah. Argh. Nevermind...why would I ask that..."

Bucky glanced over at her quickly, then replied,

"I may not know too much of anything about myself right now...but I can remember fleeting pieces of memories of my past. They come to me in dreams sometimes when I'm least expecting it."

"Really? Like what?"

Bucky told her about short scenes that had played in his head at times while he was sleeping. He could remember being very young and running across the sand at the beach, anticipating the cold splash of the ocean. He remembered bits and pieces of nights spent at a fair with a boy he suspected must have been Steve. His thoughts revealed nights full of color and sound, spent dancing and laughing.

"Dancing, hmm? You know, I saw that picture of you from back then. I bet you were quite the ladies man."

Bucky rolled his eyes.

"I don't even have any answer to give you for that, but I don't think remembering any of my suave traits would do me any good in this century anyway."

"Oh Bucky, you've still got a lot to learn about the world today! There are women who appreciate a gentleman that can dance. Hell, I don't even know how to dance. I'm a mess on two feet."

He grinned at her last remarks.

"I guess I'll have to teach you sometime."

Bucky spent the rest of the ride coaxing Lydia to tell him more about her life. He enjoyed hearing about her happy memories and things that she loved and hobbies she enjoyed. Listening to her made him feel alive, and for a little while he almost forgot about the void that his own life had become. The void that ached for the freedom to live on his own terms. As Lydia's melodic voice went on, a small spark of hope nestled down inside of him.

* * *

Their arrival at the S.H.I.E.L.D. base caused nothing short of a commotion. Lydia had to throw herself in front of Bucky as he put his hands in the air, showing them all that he was of no harm. An hour's worth of angry interrogating from Nick Fury wore them down to the point where Lydia almost wished they hadn't come back. Finally, Steve came bursting in.

"FURY! Let them be. They've probably been through hell and then some. Also, I need to talk to them. Alone."

Before Fury could argue, Steve quickly led him out of the room and then shut the door.

"So, we've got some things to discuss."

Steve filled Lydia and Bucky in on what he had accomplished in their time...away. As Lydia had guessed, Steve had been doing some work behind her back. Yet it wasn't an intricate plan to abduct Bucky from HYDRA. Instead, he had worked with one of the few computer specialists left in the organization and managed to dig up some promising information. The serum that activated the Winter Soldier was being controlled by a device, which was presumably located at the HYDRA base where Lydia and Bucky had been. If they could destroy the device, then Bucky would have the chance to recover. He would just have to continue to diminish the killer instincts that had been ingrained in him long before the serum was administered.

Bucky scratched his chin when Steve finished and asked,

"So, you're saying we need to go back there and burn the base down?"

Steve shrugged.

"Essentially. I mean, between the both of us we could easily do that. I know you don't remember, but we did it plenty of times in the past..."

Bucky nodded.

"I remember odd things here and there. I don't doubt it."

Lydia interjected,

"Hey, I hope you guys don't think you're going without me."

"NO!"

Both of the men responded quickly in unison. Lydia folded her arms across her chest.

"Come on. What else am I going to do?"

Bucky quickly responded,

"That's easy, rest up your leg. You're in no condition and I'm not letting those bastards near you ever again."

He finished his sentence with a bitter tone as a faraway and determined look flashed across his eyes momentarily. Steve added to Bucky's plea,

"Plus, your mom left somewhere near a thousand messages on my answering machine. I didn't really want to try to come up with an excuse as to how her daughter who supposedly works an inconspicuous office job managed to become a missing person..."

Lydia decided to let it be for the time being as she realized neither of them would budge.

* * *

When they arrived back at Lydia's apartment, Bucky insisted Lydia immediately get off of her feet to give her sore leg time to rest. He scooped her up and plopped her down in her bed, then scurried off to the kitchen. She raised an eyebrow as she reached for the remote and started flipping through channels. A short while later, Bucky walked into the room with a sheepish grin spread across his face. He held two bowls in his hands and the smell of food drifted to Lydia's nose. She hungrily eyed him as he handed her a bowl and sat down beside her.

"I know it's not exactly fine dining, but I figured you're probably just as hungry as me. Plus I don't even know how to cook, so I had to stick with something with clear directions and minimal ingredients."

Lydia glanced down at the bowl full of mac and cheese before her.

"Listen, did you see how many boxes of this stuff were in the pantry? I don't do fine dining much anyway. This is my favorite."

She smiled as Bucky's worried look softened into one of pride for his successful choice.

After they ate, Bucky gave Lydia privacy so she could get changed. Meanwhile, he changed into clothes that she had handed to him before he left the room.

"Bucky...?"

He looked up from the photo album on the coffee table that he had been looking through again. She really was beautiful, and looking at photos of her made him feel a bit less strange than staring at her in real life. He seriously doubted whether he had been a "ladies man", as she had put it, in the past. There was no way, considering how incredibly awkward he felt whenever he was in close proximity of Lydia. Although he had more important matters to worry about, he couldn't deny that the foreign feeling Lydia had ignited within him seemed to give him added strength in the inner battle he was fighting.

Lydia was poking her head out from her bedroom door.

"Erm...would you stay in here tonight? I don't want to be alone right now. I feel too paranoid."

Bucky nodded and followed her back into the room. She settled down under the covers as he awkwardly sat down on top of them. She raised an eyebrow and gave him a look. He nervously shrugged, trying to ignore his accelerated heartbeat. It wasn't the first time they had shared a bed, so he couldn't quite explain his reaction. He reached over to turn out the light on the nightstand and then climbed back into bed and turned to face Lydia. They looked at one another in the dark in silence for a few moments until he spoke.

"So...Steve knows your mom? Friends, eh?"

"Yes, friends! My parents came down to visit a few times and I got tired of my mom asking when I was going to settle down and get married. Steve was my decoy boyfriend."

Bucky felt an odd pang of another foreign emotion. Jealousy?

"Oooh, is he a good kisser?"

He covered up for his inner thoughts with his teasing question.

"Yuck, c'mon. Just because he was my decoy doesn't mean we did anything like that. It doesn't take much more than the presence of a guy to convince my mom, so we didn't have to put on much of a show."

Bucky inwardly felt slightly relieved, though he really couldn't understand why. Admittedly, he couldn't understand much of anything he was feeling lately. He replied,

"Steve's a handsome guy though!"

Although Bucky couldn't quite see, Lydia rolled her eyes dramatically.

"I told you before! He's totally not my type..."

A silence fell over them as Bucky contemplated what to say during the minutes that passed. He opened his mouth to speak, but he heard a soft snore come from Lydia. Her breathing became deeper as she fell asleep. After another minute or so, her small hand reached out and laced her fingers with his. A smile crept across Bucky's face as he closed his eyes and let himself succumb to a much needed slumber.


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N: I'm officially finished my semester! To celebrate, I've stayed up into the wee hours of the night to bring you the longest chapter yet. I hope you all enjoy it._**

* * *

_Wake up Winter Soldier..._

_It's time to come out and play..._

_You can't hide forever..._

Bucky awoke in a tangled mess of blankets and sheets on the floor beside the couch with sweat pouring down his face. He glanced around before pulling himself back up into a sitting position. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, which stuck out every which way courtesy of his antics during his slumber. After standing up and stretching, he headed for the bathroom.

He turned on the hot water tap and stripped down as the bathroom mirror clouded over with steam. As he stepped into the shower, the steaming water began to pour down his body and his skin turned a reddish shade in response. Bucky opted for hot showers to erase the feelings of a disturbing nightmare, because the thought of bitter cold brought him far too close to painful memories.

A slight headache began to ail him, and he knew that he and Steve needed to act soon. It had been a few days since he and Lydia had returned home. They would have left immediately, but he wanted to make sure Lydia had time to heal before he left her on her own. However, to her dismay, he had to separate himself from her and sleep on the couch. The hurt look in her eyes when he shook his head and left the room the night after their arrival had torn him apart inside. Yet he knew that it was safer, because the night they returned he had awoken in the middle of the night to find his cybernetic arm clicking and buzzing as the hand flexed itself for a moment. He didn't want her to become worried, so he kept it from her and painstakingly let her believe he simply did not wish to sleep beside her.

He stepped out of the shower and wiped the foggy mirror, looking at his blurry reflection that stared back at him.

_"Winter is over. I'm taking my life back."_

* * *

Bucky, Steve, and Lydia sat gathered around the kitchen table in Lydia's apartment. A map was spread out with a trail marked to the location of HYDRA's base. A redeeming quality of Bucky's training was that his memory of direction was impeccable. Although their escape had been frantic and rushed, Bucky had carefully observed his surroundings and the direction he had run. When he and Lydia had poured over the same map that was on the table, in the diner, he made sure to immediately mark the base's location.

Lydia was biting her nails and twisting the ends of her hair as she stood up and began to pace around. She couldn't handle the thought of both of them leaving, especially when a safe return was not at all guaranteed. They were soldiers prepared to boldly go into battle, fully aware of the risks.

"You guys need to promise me that you'll be careful. No extra missions, nothing more than what needs to be accomplished."

Her stomach was in knots as she watched them pack up and lift their bags, heading for the door. As Steve exited, Bucky turned to her. He brought a hand gently to her cheek, and ran his thumb lightly across her bottom lip before letting his hand drop back to his side.

"Be safe while I'm gone. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can."

And he left.

Lydia's emotions flooded with confusing mixed feelings. A few days ago, she was trying to piece together their awkward interactions. She couldn't quite understand what was unfolding between them, but she surely couldn't deny the way she felt when nestled up in his arms. Yet he had shattered all of that when he rejected her. She felt silly for regarding it in such a manner, because they were simply two hurt people that happened to share a bed side by side. Nothing more. Yet the fact that he chose to be alone at night instead left her feeling defeated and puzzled.

She shook her head, dispersing her disheartening thoughts. He was man, recovering from a lifetime of imprisonment and torture. She was a woman, now a friend, helping him along his journey. Lydia could not let her girlish feelings become a conflict of interest.

* * *

Steve turned to Bucky as they cruised down the interstate.

"Buck, when this is all done and over with, I've got to take you to this bar. It's a bit outside of town, but it's worth the trip. It's honestly amazing, 'cause it feels like you're walking through a time machine. Some of the guys who were helping me to adjust took me, telling me it would provide some intense nostalgia. I swear, you would think time stopped ticking inside of that place when you and I were frozen. They even play all of our old favorite songs, and there are some gorgeous women there who know how to dance the _right_ way."

Bucky half-smiled, and replied,

"Really? That sounds fantastic. I'd love to take Lydia there..."

Steve grinned, raising an eyebrow.

"She's an amazing girl, Bucky. You better take care of her."

Bucky shook his head.

"It's not like that, Steve. I can't let her get caught up in my life, it's too dangerous. I care about her too much and I'm well aware of the trouble that follows me."

"But we're literally on a mission to squash that problem. You'll be good to go! We'll be partners again. Plus, I think some love would do that frozen heart of yours some good. You've got to thaw out your emotions somehow."

Bucky gave his friend a sad smile.

"It's going to be a long time before I'm able to trust myself, even if we're successful on this trip. She deserves better."

It was Steve's turn to shake his head in response to Bucky's statement.

"Bucky, come on now. You're the best man I know."

* * *

Lydia spent the days that followed pacing around her apartment, worried sick. She knew that they were purposely taking their time, so they could scope out the territory and create an effective plan of action. Yet she selfishly wished they could have found the time to call her and reassure her they were still alive.

Fury stopped in to check on her, following up on Steve's wishes _(demands)_. She begged him to let her go to the S.H.I.E.L.D. base, desperate to be a part of the team that was monitoring Bucky and Steve's mission. He patted her shoulder and instead handed her a laptop and paperwork that needed to be sorted and computerized. Steve had strictly stated that she wasn't allowed to have any knowledge of the mission's status, because he was well aware of her ability to make rash decisions when emotional investment was her trigger.

On Fury's way out, she threatened to storm through the doors of the base regardless. He simply chuckled and left, well aware that there was no possibility of her getting past the security system when he had personally locked her out.

Shortly after he left, there was another knock at Lydia's door. She curiously eyed the door before walking over to it, unsure of who else could possibly be paying her a visit.

* * *

One superhuman man is a very dangerous weapon. Two superhuman men are a forced to be reckoned with.

After a day or so of careful planning as they paced the radius outside the base, they decided to throw away their original idea. Perhaps it was because they were both far too anxious to finish the mission, or perhaps it was simply because they wanted to prove HYDRA was no match for the two of them, even with an obvious and messy entrance.

That entrance was precisely what occurred, as Steve literally ran through the front doors of the abandoned factory. Meanwhile, Bucky crawled into the building after him in a true soldier fashion, and then jumped to his feet, furiously firing bullets.

The two of them paused after a moment, realizing the first floor was completely and entirely deserted. Bucky huffed, disappointed by their lackluster accomplishment.

"That door in the corner leads to the lower levels, which is where all the dirty work happens."

They slowed their pace a bit as they entered the lower level, well aware that something had to be down there waiting for them. As expected, none other than Abram Azarov was calmly standing in the middle of the hallway with his hands folded in front of him. He extended them in a greeting fashion as Steve and Bucky approached.

"Ah! My dear Winter Soldier. I see you have decided to return on your own terms. Ooh, and you have brought a wonderful gift with you!"

Bucky's cybernetic arm was locked around Azarov's throat in seconds as he lifted him from the ground.

"Cut the shit. You're going to pa-.."

He was cut off by the sound of multiple guns being cocked. Over a dozen of HYDRA's minions stepped into the hallway, surrounding them. Steve rolled his eyes.

"I thought you would have learned a lesson back in D.C., but I guess not. You've overstayed your visit in my country, and it's time for you to get out."

Madness ensued as Steve and Bucky simultaneously jumped into action. Bullets were shot in haphazard directions as men were tossed left and right, knocked out by the sheer force of their bodies slamming into the concrete walls. Despite their numbers, the men stood no chance against Captain America and Bucky Barnes. The two super soldiers, fueled with a justified common goal, were unstoppable.

Unfortunately for HYDRA, losing their most powerful asset was a large problem. They had banked on the fact that their serum would effectively contain the return of Bucky's humanity, but they had truly underestimated the power of emotions.

Bucky led Steve to where he remembered the lab to be, because he had a feeling the transmitter device that was itching to control him was located there. They found Azarov in the lab, hurriedly packing a bag with one hand and holding a grenade of some sort in the other. He glanced up at them when they entered the room, twirling a small black device in the hand he had been packing with.

"I know this is what you came here for, but you should know that this grenade was specially developed by HYDRA. I will escape through a route you are not privy to, and this little beauty will quite literally turn this place into useless rubble."

Steve stepped forward.

"I'm afraid that's not how today's going to end."

And then, it happened within seconds.

Bucky dove for Azarov, who stumbled backward as he crashed into him.

The grenade went flying into the air, pin clearly held tight in Azarov's hand.

Bucky turned in the direction the grenade was flying, and Azarov was gone.

The grenade fell to the ground with a small clink, which Bucky was surprised he could hear over the pounding of his heart. He ducked down as the grenade exploded, slightly confused by it's lack of force. He looked over toward Steve to find that his proximity had not left him as fortunate, as he laid on the ground groaning in pain. Bucky ran over to him, and heard a rumble from deep within the building. He realized that the grenade itself was not so much the weapon, although it had seriously injured Steve. The grenade was simply the beginning of a chain reaction that would essentially cause the building to self-destruct.

Bucky picked Steve up in his arms, staggering for a moment as he adjusted to Steve's weight, which rivaled his own. He set off at a run, far too aware of the rooms that were beginning to explode and crumble behind him. They barely managed to escape as the structure crumbled into a forgotten heap behind them. Bucky continued to run until they were safely obscured in the woods. He set Steve down on the ground. Steve opened his eyes and rubbed his head, as his body was slowly beginning to recover from the initial blast.

"Well that was a miserable failure.."

Bucky grinned as he replied,

"What do you mean?"

He pulled the black device out of his pocket.

"But Azarov escaped..."

Bucky shrugged.

"I'm quick with my hands. I don't even think he noticed that I grabbed it from him before he scurried off down some tunnel like the rat he is."

He crushed the device instantly in his hands. As the super high pitched beeping noise that the device emitted came to a halt, Bucky instantly felt an overwhelming feeling of relief wash over him. He could literally feel the release of the tension and control that the device had over him. He smiled and turned back to Steve.

"We did it, pal."

* * *

The southbound drive home left both of the men extremely anxious to return home. Steve knew that Lydia had probably devised an intricate plan to seriously hurt both of them for completely and entirely restricting her involvement in the ordeal. She didn't take lightly to being left in the dark.

After checking in at the S.H.I.E.L.D. base, where Nick Fury finally clapped Bucky on the shoulder and shook his hand, they headed for Lydia's apartment.

_Knock_  
_Knock_  
_Knock_

A few minutes passed and Bucky glanced at Steve with a confused look. It was late, so she had to be home. Bucky turned the knob of the door to find that it was unlocked. He looked over at Steve once again, who shrugged in response. He pushed the door open, only to be greeted by darkness. He cautiously stepped forward, into the apartment.

"Hello? Lydia?"

He flicked on the light switch beside the door, and was met with a sight that tore him apart.

Lydia sat in a chair a few feet away, hands tied behind her back and a gag over her mouth. Her eyes widened in horror and she began to shake her head as she saw them. Before Bucky or Steve could take another step, a familiar face sauntered into view.

Alexander Pierce.

"Well, well, if it isn't my two favorite super soldiers. I must say, I'm quite disappointed that it took both of you that long to complete your little mission. I was very excited to set up our little rendezvous here, and I don't like when I'm kept waiting."

Steve clenched his fists as he took a step forward.

"But the authorities captured you."

Pierce smiled and wagged a finger at him.

"Captain Rogers, don't you know who I am? My loyal disciples are everywhere."

Bucky growled.

"Well you're not going to escape this time."

Pierce chucked as he casually removed a lighter from his pocket.

"My boys, you may want to take a closer look before you dive into this predicament. As you can see, this apartment is doused in flammable fluid, along with your dear Lydia here. I want the Winter Soldier. If you do not cooperate, you will surely regret it."

Steve and Bucky exchanged a momentary glance. Under normal circumstances, Steve Rogers was not a man to make rash decisions. However, both of them were fueled with adrenaline, completely outraged by the untimely issue. Steve defiantly spoke.

"The only person who's going to have to cooperate is you."

Steve dove for Pierce, landing heavily on top of him. Pierce laughed as he struggled under Steve's weight, pulling a black device from his pocket. He spoke in between struggled breaths.

"Did you...honestly...think that was.. the only...device? Foolish..."

Bucky was heading toward Lydia to free her, when he suddenly froze in his tracks. He began to see spots and fell to his knees, crying out as he held his head in pain. He was caught off guard, and the faint ringing noise of the device was like a knife to his eardrums. He felt his body start to shake as he began to lose control.

Pierce laughed as Steve and Lydia both stared at Bucky in fear and shock. Meanwhile, he hastily clicked the lighter so a small flame sparked. He touched it to the carpet, and flames began to hungrily travel across the apartment at an alarming speed. Pierce took advantage of Steve's momentary distraction to pull himself up and head for the door. Steve dove for him, tackling him to the ground in the doorway.

Meanwhile, the fire continued to grow. Lydia sat in the chair, wriggling and trapped, as the flames began to climb up her body. White-hot pain engulfed Lydia as her legs began to burn. She emitted a piercing scream with such agony and force that it could be heard clearly despite the gag.

_Lydia._

Bucky snapped out of it. He looked down to see the black device at his feet. He stomped on it, crushing it to pieces. Lydia's screams were subdued to whimpers as she began to lose consciousness due to the sheer intensity of the pain. Bucky lunged toward her, ripping her free from her restraints. He allowed the flames to ravish him as he freed her. Cradling her in his arms, he ran toward the exit.

* * *

Lydia awoke to find herself in a hospital bed. Her left hand was trapped in the tight grip of another, fingers carefully laced with hers. She looked over to see that the hand belonged to Bucky, who was sleeping in a chair next to the bed. Because she was still half asleep, she couldn't recall why she was there. But she felt warmth spread inside of her at the sight of Bucky by her side, holding her hand so tightly one would think she was on the verge of disappearing. She shifted slightly, and Bucky's eyes shot open.

"LYDIA!"

He jumped up, and embraced her in an affectionate yet gentle hug, aware that she was most likely still in pain. She returned the hug, although she was weak, feeling slightly disappointed when he let her go.

"Bucky...what happened? Why are my legs bandaged...as if there was a fi-...Oh..."

Memories of what had happened since Alexander Pierce came knocking on her apartment door flooded back into her mind. The last thing she remembered was screaming in pain as the flames engulfed her apartment.

"Bucky...you were...under his control. How did..."

She trailed off.

"When the flames reached you and I heard you crying out in pain, I snapped out of it and got us out of there."

He reached for her hand and held it, gently rubbing her palm with his thumb.

"I've really got a growing list of how much I owe you for..."

Bucky shook his head.

"We're always even, because I wouldn't be in control of myself if it wasn't for you."

Lydia smiled weakly as she became aware of how truly sore her body was. At that moment, Steve and Nick Fury entered the room. Steve eagerly gave her a hug, profusely apologizing for their absence. Meanwhile, Fury began to debrief her on what had happened in the past day.

"Well, Pierce is now SAFELY locked down. I can promise he's not going anywhere any time soon. We made the mistake of letting amateur authorities handle him the first time. As for your apartment, well, I'm going to be blunt and say it's toast. Fortunately, Rogers and I managed to pull some strings to get your insurance rolling so you'd have a place to live immediately."

He lightly tossed a pair of keys her way, which landed beside her.

"Your new place is on the other side of town. I'm sorry it's a bit empty for now, because nothing from your old apartment was salvageable. Rogers or Barnes will escort you there once the hospital releases you."

* * *

Lydia was released from the hospital a few days later, much to the dismay of her nurses. She insisted she would be just fine continuing the healing process at home, now that she was able to hobble around the hospital room. Bucky had stayed there with her the entire time. She told him to leave so he could sleep in a real bed, but he stubbornly slept in the chair beside her bed each night. Although she felt bad, she couldn't help but smile as she woke up in the middle of the night to see him peacefully sleeping inches from her as he loosely held her hand.

Bucky held out his arm for Lydia to steady herself as they left the hospital. He drove her to her new apartment and reassuringly held her hand as they walked through the doorway together.

She sat down on her new bed, sighing as she looked around the bare room. Bucky left the room momentarily and returned with a clumsily wrapped gift, topped with a maroon bow. She eyed it curiously as he handed it to her.

"What's this?"

"Open it."

As Lydia began to tear off the wrapping paper, tears flooded her eyes. It was her photo album.

"I...I couldn't save much. I ran back into the apartment after I found Steve and an unconscious Pierce outside. I wanted to find something to make you feel better...I'm not sure if you even care about this thing that much..."

Lydia cut him off with a tight hug, burying her face into his shoulder, muffling her crying.

"Bucky...it's perfect. Thank you...so much."

A wave of feelings crashed over her as she embraced him. She turned her head slightly and kissed the base of his neck. She began to trail kisses up further, until Bucky pulled away from her.

"Lydia...I..."

The hurt that flashed over her eyes ripped his heart into pieces.  
His voice came out strangled and strained.

"Please. I can't. I can't do this."

Lydia's heart sunk.

"Bucky..."

"Lydia. You have to listen to me. I care about you so much. You saved me from myself and you've been the driving force that's keeping me from falling back down. You have no idea how much you mean to me. The fire made me realize that as long as I'm close to you, I'm putting you in danger. I can't do that to you, because if lose you completely like I almost did the other night, I'll lose myself. I will always protect you, but I have to keep my distance. See your injures? I blame myself. This is all my fault, and I'm so sorry."

He quickly leaned down and kissed her forehead before swiftly turning around to exit the room.

Lydia pushed herself up from the bed and followed him, not quite able to keep up with his pace as her legs protested her sudden movements. She managed to catch up to him as his hand was on the door handle to exit the apartment.

"Bucky, wait!"

He turned to face her. Lydia stood on her tiptoes and gently brushed her soft lips against his. He felt an electric feeling shoot through his body at her touch.

"I'm sorry. I just had to...just once..."

She turned to walk away, but a hand grasped her wrist. Bucky spun her back around.

She stared up into his eyes for a few moments as her heart pounded loudly in her chest. Her body felt numb as she struggled to breathe evenly. Bucky reached his hands up, holding either side of her face. The sensation of both warm skin and cool metal brought shivers throughout her body. Her legs began to feel weak. She stopped breathing as he slowly tilted his head down toward hers and began to close the distance between them. She felt as if the entire world had stopped spinning, and they were suspended in time. Bucky brought his lips crashing down on hers, and she eagerly returned the kiss. Her lips hungrily pressed against his as he lowered his hands to her waist and held her tightly against him. Emotions and feelings exploded inside of her as his soft lips continued to devour her own. He reached up to hold the back of her head and his hand tangled in her hair as he deepend the kiss even further. When he pulled away, they were both breathing heavily. He reached up and gently held her chin, tilting it upward so they were staring into one another's eyes once more.

"I promise I will never let anyone hurt you ever again, Lydia. That includes me. I'm sorry, I have to leave."

He brought his lips to her forehead one last time before he turned, opened the door, and left.  
She brought a hand to her lips as a tingling feeling remained inside of her chest and said in a quiet voice,

"You just broke that promise..."


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N: Once again, I apologize for the delay!_**

**_Thank you so much to everyone that reviewed! Reviews make my day!_**

* * *

In the weeks that followed, Lydia forcefully kept herself busy by immersing herself in work. Unfortunately, Bucky also happened to work in the same building since Fury had allowed him to begin working with S.H.I.E.L.D. Lydia often found herself diving into the nearest empty room when she caught sight of Bucky. After their last encounter she felt humiliated for throwing her feelings out on the table only to watch him walk away with what seemed like great ease. She knew she would have to talk to him eventually, because dramatically avoiding conversation at all costs was getting tiring and seemed quite silly, but she wanted to put it off for as long as possible.

Unfortunately, Lydia's wishes were short-lived one morning as she walked down the quiet hallway of the S.H.I.E.L.D. base, nose buried in information that was on the tablet she was holding. She barely had time to tighten her grip on the tablet as she smacked right into someone coming from the opposite direction.

* * *

Bucky spent the weeks after his emotional exit from Lydia's apartment brooding and training with Steve. He hadn't been prepared for the torrent of emotions he had felt as he walked away from her, forcing him to slump against the wall breathing heavily once he was out of her sight. He was torn, because he knew she would get hurt no matter what choice he made. His heart selfishly urged him to burst back through her door, pick her up and spin her around, and promise he wasn't going anywhere. Yet his mind reminded him of how badly she had already gotten hurt just from being too close to him, and so he forlornly put one foot in front of the other as he headed for Steve's apartment.

His only concern was that Lydia had been the main factor grounding his emotions, helping him extinguish the killer instincts that had been ingrained in his mind. Although the serum was rendered useless without the control devices, he could still feel the darkness that had lived inside him for so long. It greedily threatened to pull him under whenever he showed signs of weakness. As he trudged away from Lydia's apartment, he clenched his fists as he promised himself he wouldn't let himself lose control again. Even without her, he would hold on just by the knowledge that he wouldn't be able to protect her (even from afar) if he lost himself again.

Despite his complete and utter lack of relationship skills, for a lack of better words to describe their situation, it was clear as day to him that Lydia was avoiding him. He didn't blame her, because he too felt a churning in his gut and strain on his heart whenever he caught a flash of her hair disappearing around the corner at the S.H.I.E.L.D. base. He and Steve were leaving for a month-long mission in Europe very shortly, which was why he purposely showed up at the base at the crack of dawn one morning. Bucky knew that Lydia went in to work extremely early to get started so she could avoid him at all costs, but he needed to speak to her at least once before he left.

He hurried down the hallway, hoping he would catch her before she locked herself in one of the labs and buried herself in work. In his haste, he barely noticed he was rapidly approaching a certain oncoming woman until they collided.

* * *

Lydia looked up from the floor as a metal hand reached down toward her, offering to help her stand up. She shook her head and pushed the hand away, lifting up the tablet beside her and pushing herself to her feet. She stared down at the ground, not quite sure if she could trust herself to handle the conversation without embarrassing herself.

"Lydia, please look at me."

She sighed as she glanced up at him, gripping the tablet with both of her hands as if it would serve as an anchor and prevent her from losing herself in his eyes. After taking a deep breath, she spoke.

"Hi Bucky."

She could see him visibly shed a tense layer that had been draped over his body.

"I...just wanted to talk to you before Steve and I leave tomorrow. I'm assuming you know about Europe?"

Lydia nodded, as she was indeed privy to the mission. Steve and Bucky were being sent to Europe to hunt for possible signs of HYDRA because of Fury's suspicion that they had scattered across the globe after the D.C. failure. He continued,

"I didn't want to go, because I'm still worried about leaving you again."

Lydia retorted,

"You already left."

Her words stung, because he could feel the lingering sadness in her voice.

"Lydia, I-.."

"Bucky, please just stop. I don't need a bodyguard. I'll be fine. Steve needs you out there, just be careful."

Before he could respond, she quickly pushed past him. In the second that their shoulders made contact, he could feel her momentarily tense up. It took all of his willpower to resist grabbing her by the wrist and kissing her again. Their first kiss was intoxicating and he desperately wanted to feel her lips against his once more. Yet his selfish side once again took the sidelines against his better judgment as he watched her walk away. He wouldn't let himself taint her life with the darkness of his own.

* * *

Bucky and Steve's mission was extremely lackluster, void of the confrontation and victory that they had been anticipating. All of the suspicious leads they followed turned out to be nothing more than dead ends. Any particularly strange looking individuals turned out to be no more than just that. Bucky felt severely disappointed, because he was looking forward to the rush and thrill of defeating their enemies. His hatred for HYDRA continued to grow each day, and he felt sorry for the next agent of theirs that he would run in to. His mixture of anger at them and the pained emotions for Lydia were an extremely dangerous concoction.

Steve badgered him about Lydia as they strolled down busy streets, taking in their surroundings to kill time on their 'off' days.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen Lydia as happy as I've seen her when she's around you. But these past few weeks, she's been downright miserable."

Bucky guiltily looked over at his friend, not really wanting to discuss what had happened. He already played the situation back in his mind to torture himself on a daily basis as it was.

"That's because I let her go...I kissed her and I left her. I'm awful, I know."

Steve shook his head in disbelief.

"Why in the world would do that? You guys need each other. She's helped you recover every step of the way so far."

It was Bucky's turn to shake his head.

"She doesn't need me, Steve. I care too much about her to let her get involved with me. Don't you see? Being close to me automatically puts her in danger. She's basically a human target, the key to bringing me down. I already beat myself up every day over what's happened to her because of me. I can't be selfish when it comes to her, she deserves to live a life without complications or impending danger at every moment."

Steve stopped and grabbed Bucky's shoulders, looking him directly in the eyes.

"Bucky, come on now. You know I'm a man of morals, and even I think this is insane. Look at you; your heart is barely in this mission. I can clearly see how much this is tearing you apart inside. You're my best friend, and even after all this time I still know when you're hurting. Who's to say she's not still in danger, even if you're not with her? She's wormed her way into your heart, which still makes her a pawn in your unfortunate situation no matter what. You could honestly keep her safer if you were with her all the time, rather than stalking her from a distance. So why not give that thawed out heart of yours a chance to feel something real for the first time in your life? In all the years that I knew you in the past, Bucky, you NEVER looked at a girl like you look at her."

* * *

The day that Steve and Bucky left, Lydia stormed into Fury's office demanding more work. She desperately wanted any excuse to keep busy so her mind wouldn't wander. Her thoughts of Bucky were only intensified in his absence, as she worried for his safety. Fury granted her wishes, giving her research to bury herself in.

One afternoon, after a particularly long and boring morning studying information regarding suspicious gravitational patterns, Lydia decided to change up her routine. Generally, after work, she would head home and collapse on the couch. Then, she would order some form of take out and watch a movie, willing her mind to stay focused on the distractions. However, on this particular afternoon, she found herself driving the opposite direction of her apartment and parking outside of a small coffee shop instead. She settled down in a seat by the window with her beverage, looking out at the busy street in front of her. After a few minutes of silence, she was disrupted from her thoughts.

"Lydia Fortona? Is that you?"

She looked up from her drink to find a familiar face from her past sitting in the seat beside her.

"David West, what in the world are you doing in D.C.?"

The man beside her had been a close colleague of hers from university, one that she hadn't spoken to since she moved away.

"I should ask you the same! I'm here for work, my company transferred me to work in an office down here."

"Well, I also work here. It's just an office job, but it pays the bills."

"Why D.C., though? I thought you were pretty close with your folks, I was surprised when you left town."

"I'm not sure, I guess I just wanted to take in some new surroundings."

David nodded in agreement.

"Well, hey, I've got to get going. I'm on a bit of a tight schedule this afternoon. But I'd love to catch up. Are you busy tomorrow?"

They made plans to meet at the same place at the same time, and then he left. Lydia finished her drink, pondering over how unexpected it was for her to have run into someone she knew. David had been the first familiar face she had seen in all of her years living in D.C.

In the days that followed, Lydia met up with David for coffee several times. He told her about the events that occurred in his life after she left school, while she fabricated her own story about living in D.C. and working a typical office job. Until speaking with David, she didn't realize how much she missed having a friend to discuss normal life topics with that didn't involve highly confidential information. She also appreciated his company because it helped to keep her mind distracted from thoughts of a certain someone.

* * *

Bucky and Steve returned to D.C. from their uneventful mission on a quiet, overcast day. Although it was good news that the suspicions about HYDRA had been false, they were still uneasy. They walked through the town, following Steve's suggestion to grab lunch before they spent the rest of the day at the S.H.I.E.L.D. base. As they passed a coffee shop, Steve spotted Lydia sitting by the window. He grabbed Bucky's arm, turned around, and headed inside.

"Lydia!"

Lydia's face lit up as she saw them walk through the door. She hugged Steve, and paused before awkwardly nodding in Bucky's direction. She spoke to him in a small voice.

"I'm glad you guys made it back in one piece, I worried every damn day. And...your hair. It looks great! You look like you stepped right out of one of your old photos now..."

Bucky should have enjoyed hearing her compliment about his haircut that Steve had insisted upon before they boarded their flight home. Steve had forcefully encouraged him to change his mind about the Lydia situation, and also convinced him that a haircut would help him to further strip himself of the image of the Winter Soldier. However, his eyes were trained on the man sitting beside the empty seat Lydia had been in. He had seen her smiling and laughing as she conversed with the man before he and Steve entered the building. Whatever confidence he had built up on the ride home deflated in a matter of seconds. He shoved his hands in his pockets and mumbled a thank you in response.

"Oh! So I want to introduce you guys to someone. This is David. He's an old friend from the university I went to, and he just recently moved into town."

Steve stepped forward first to shake the man's hand as the man shot him a brilliant smile. Bucky hesitated for a moment before extending his cybernetic arm to firmly shake David's hand. Lydia spoke up once more.

"Would you guys like to join us? David does some pretty fascinating research that he was just telling me about-.."

Bucky quickly cut her off before she could continue.

"We've actually got to get going. First day back, lots to do. You know."

He curtly nodded in David's direction before exiting the coffee shop. Steve, confused, quickly said goodbye and followed suit. He jogged to catch up with Bucky, who had already managed to get halfway down the block.

"Bucky! What the hell man."

Bucky shot him a glare.

"What? Look, whatever shit you put into my head was all a waste of time. Look at her, did you see how happy she looked? She needs someone like that, someone who's normal and comes without complications."

Steve shook his head, chuckling.

"You say that, but you gripped his hand with that arm of yours in the same manner someone would open their jacket to reveal a rifle strapped inside."

Bucky grunted.

"Well, I had to at least show him who he's dealing with. But in all seriousness, it's a lost cause, Steve. I'm throwing in the towel."

* * *

Lydia stood outside of the door of Steve's apartment, fully aware that Bucky had been living with him. She raised her hand to knock on the door, hesitating for a few moments. She still wasn't entirely sure why she was standing there preparing to fight a battle she knew she would continue to lose. A few moments after knocking, the door creaked open and she found herself face to face with Bucky. She felt weak at the knees at the sight of him already, and seeing him in a t-shirt and boxers with tousled hair and tired eyes did nothing to help her maintain her composure.

"Hi."

He grumbled and went to close the door, but she pushed herself inside before he could.

"No. You're going to talk to me. Because now you've been the one avoiding me since I've been back."

Bucky shrugged.

"We don't have much to talk about anymore, Lydia, unless it has to do with work. Regardless, I think you've been keeping quite busy without me."

Lydia raised an eyebrow at his last sentence, sensing a hint of distaste in his voice.

"Excuse me? Please don't tell me this has anything to do with David. He's my friend, Bucky."

Bucky spat back in response.

"I'm aware he is your friend. He is also the kind of man you need in your life right now. I am very happy that you've found someone to spend your free time with."

Lydia sighed.

"He's not who I need in my life right now."

Bucky glared at her.

"Just leave me alone, Lydia."

Bucky walked away, leaving Lydia standing there alone in the middle of the room.

* * *

Bucky collapsed in a chair on the balcony of Steve's apartment when he heard the click of the door to indicate that Lydia had given up and left. His heart was pounding as he rested his head in his hands, struggling to calm down. His cheeks stung with unwelcome wet visitors as the image of Lydia's rejected and hurt face burned in his mind. Despite all of Steve's insistence, he couldn't give in. No matter how badly he wanted to hold her in his arms the moment she walked through the door. She was far too happy and safe living her life without his presence currently, and he couldn't take the chance of messing that up. Giving in to his selfish desires wasn't worth the possible danger that could follow.

* * *

A few days later, David asked Lydia to have dinner with him at a small, fancy restaurant in town. Despite her utter lack of interest in obliging and giving David the wrong idea, her unsuccessful encounter with Bucky swayed her otherwise.

When they arrived, David quickly hurried to pull out her seat for her at their table on the patio. Dinner was a blur as she found herself lost in her thoughts, tuning out most of the things that David was discussing. She was shaken out of her daze when she felt a hand gently placed on top of hers.

"Lydia? Did you hear me?"

She gave him an embarrassed smile.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I said I feel very fortunate to have run into you. It's very comforting to have a familiar face to confide in here in D.C."

* * *

Bucky walked down the street, uncomfortably tugging at the collar of his button-up shirt. He looked down at his feet as he walked, which were adorned with polished dress shoes to match his freshly ironed slacks. Although this fancy outfit would have been nothing new for the old Bucky, this Bucky wasn't quite used to it.

He silently cursed Steve's persistent voice that continued to nag him, even when he was nowhere in sight. Steve had found Bucky seated on the balcony the evening of Lydia's visit and berated him for his poor choices. Bucky couldn't understand why Steve was agreeing with Bucky's selfish side, because he knew Steve was a man who would always put others before himself.

_"Bucky, come on man. You're gonna let that guy win? Do you really think he can protect her better than you can?"_

_"Steve, come on. Just leave it alone. It would be wrong for me to give in and subject her to being part of my life. I have no idea what the future holds for me, because I still have so many things to figure out about myself."_

_"When are you going to understand? You've got me to watch over you both. We made a few mistakes last time, but this time around absolutely nothing is going to hurt her. I promise we will make sure of that. I'm convinced that you're not going to be able to fully recover without her help. I see how happy she makes you, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure you two have each other. I'm with you, pal. Till the end of the line."_

Steve's words rang out in his head as he headed in the direction of Lydia's apartment, assuming she would be there. As he walked down the busy street, a familiar laugh nearby caught his attention. He glanced to his right to look at the restaurant he was passing by and saw Lydia seated outside with David. His heart sank as he saw David's hand placed on top of hers. He clenched his fists, willing himself not to walk right up to them, pick David up, and toss him aside like a rag doll. Instead, he quickly spun on his heel and headed back in the direction he had came, tossing the bouquet of maroon lilies he had been carrying into a nearby trashcan.

He stormed into the research lab at the S.H.I.E.L.D. base that he and Steve often worked in together, letting the large metal door bounce off the wall with a resonating bang. Steve glanced up from the laptop he was sitting in front of (which he was quickly learning how to use after discovering how useful it was).

"Erm...should I ask?"

Bucky shook his head.

"She's out to dinner with that asshole."

Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Well, uh, speaking of David, I found some pretty dirty stuff on him while you were gone."

Bucky walked over to Steve and they huddled around the laptop together as Steve maximized a tab he had been viewing. Bucky's eyes widened as he saw an image of a man on the screen that look very much like David if he had very thick facial hair and black hair versus the blond hair he was currently sporting. The name on the file was Ethan Harwin.

"So don't ask me how, because I'm still getting the hang of using this thing to search S.H.I.E.L.D.'s database. But I came across all these profiles of known HYDRA allies that uncompromised members of S.H.I.E.L.D. were in the midst of wiping out before everything got pretty nasty. David hasn't been completely honest with Lydia..."

Bucky shook his head in confusion.

"But...how? What's with the disguise? How would he have pulled this off?"

"They probably recruited him sometime after Lydia left, and had him work under the disguised look he's sporting in this picture. He then coincidentally ended up being the perfect candidate to infiltrate what's left of S.H.I.E.L.D. now, using Lydia as his gateway."

Although Bucky was seething in anger, a small smile crept across his face.

"So...you're saying this guy is fair game? He's the enemy? We can infiltrate and destroy?"

Steve nodded.

"Basically, but we need to be tactful about this. Who knows if this guy is being watched, or what he's capable of."

Bucky rolled his eyes.

"He's dead. I'm going right back to that restaurant and I'm going to shove that whole table into his mouth. Even the centerpiece."

"Bucky..."

"I somehow managed to royally screw things up yet again. It's my fault that this guy has Lydia right where he wants her. I'm stopping this before it gets any worse."

With that, Bucky stormed out of the room. Steve closed the laptop and quickly followed behind him. They took Steve's car to the restaurant, and pulled up just in time to see Lydia climbing in to the passenger seat of David's car as he held the door open for her. Bucky scoffed,

"Oh come on..."

They slowly followed them to Lydia's apartment, and watched as he walked her to the door. Bucky squeezed the armrest, causing it to crunch in protest, as he watched David peck her on the cheek before leaving.

"He's really gonna regret that..."

Keeping their distance, they followed him to the other side of town as the sun began to set. David parked outside of a small townhouse. Steve parked down the street and they slowly approached. They exchanged a glance as they stood outside of the door, which was followed by Bucky shrugging and popping the handle off. They quietly entered the house, only to find David calmly sitting in the living room drinking a glass of wine, as if he were expecting them.

"Ahhh, Captain Rogers, Mr. Barnes. How wonderful of you both to join me for dessert. I was wondering when you would be arranging a private meeting with me. It took you long enough..."

Bucky growled.

"Cut the shit. Whatever plans you had for Lydia aren't happening anymore. You're done, and you're leaving town tonight. Otherwise, I'll drag you out of here with my bare hands."

David let loose a very hearty and amused laugh.

"I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into, Mr. Barnes."

Bucky clenched and unclenched his fists impatiently.

"I don't have time for this, Ethan."

David sneered.

"Please don't call me by that awful alias. David is my real name. Let's keep it casual, boys"

Bucky, utterly annoyed by the man's lack of concern that two super soldiers were standing in his living room, snapped.

"Steve, I'm going to drag this guy out back and kill him right now unless you've got anything else to say!"

David chuckled and shook his head as a smile crept across his face.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, I'm sure you've taken into consideration that I'm being watched."

Bucky grunted. Steve replied,

"Well, we can still cut you off from Lydia. Then you're out of luck."

David's smile grew even larger.

"How do you think Lydia would feel if she found out that her brother is still alive, and Bucky participated in torturing him?"

Bucky cried out.

"WHAT TH-.."

"Oh, I know you thought he was dead. All of the HYDRA agents at that base thought they were all dead. But his body was revived thanks to the serum after they moved the corpses to another facility, the facility I work at. He has been in the possession of my division all these years, being used as our personal human lab rat. That's not very important, though. See, once I tell her that, she'll become emotionally vulnerable. Then I can drop the real bomb and show her the wonderful security footage of you attacking and destroying the men during the testing period."

"I had no control over what I was doing...and once you tell her that she'll realize you're working with HYDRA."

David smirked.

"It doesn't matter, because regardless she will be too horrified to trust you. By that point, I will have everything I need from her."

Bucky lunged forward, but Steve quickly grabbed him and held him back. David's next words dripped with malice and venom.

"If you take one more step toward me, ten snipers will take you down before you can take another breath. Now do me a favor and leave my house now, because I'd rather not stain this rug. It was quite expensive. Also, don't do anything stupid...like rushing over to Lydia's house. There are ten more men stationed over there, prepared to abduct her and bring her to me if they see any signs of her being alerted to the situation at hand."


	10. Chapter 10

**_A/N: Hey guys! _**  
**_So, as always, to everyone who reviewed: YOU ARE AWESOME! Many of you have been reviewing every single chapter and that means a lot to me. You have no idea how excited I get when I come on to check this everyday and see the number of reviews has gone up._**

**_I want to specifically mention Laurafxox, who left quite an in-depth review! She made a good point about something that I have impatiently been waiting to write, which is Lydia and Bucky actually together. I'm glad you can understand and appreciate that I'm attempting to ensure that the buildup is natural :) BUT I can promise you all that wonderful fluff and happy feels that aren't angst-ridden will come eventually. _**

**_So, without further adieu, I give you...Chapter 10. _**

* * *

Bucky angrily stormed out of the house, followed closely by Steve. He began cursing up a storm and muttering threats as he glanced around, looking for telltale signs of the snipers. He could feel his deep-rooted assassin instincts threatening to boil over inside of him, and for once they were useful rather than a burden. Steve interrupted his intense concentration as they headed down the street.

"I know what you're thinking of doing, but I think we should head back to the base first. Someone is returning home today from a mission, and we could really use his help."

Bucky grumbled some more about how he could take all of them down on his own, before climbing into the passenger seat of the car. Steve took an extremely long and confusing route to the base while Bucky's eyes were trained on the back window of the car, searching for any signs of followers on their tail. He parked a few blocks away and the two of them split up, once again searching for any signs of HYDRA snipers lurking in the shadows of the night.

They met back up and warily entered the headquarters, wondering why they hadn't run into any company. Steve quickly jogged down the halls, which were mostly empty, until he found whom he was looking for sitting in a small office.

"Welcome back, Barton."

"Good to see you, Rogers."

Clint Barton stood up from the desk and smiled, walking over to Steve to shake his hand with one arm while clapping him on the back with the other. Bucky entered the room behind him and eyed up the unfamiliar man.

"Bucky, this is Clint Barton."

Clint approached Bucky and nodded at him while the two sized one another up. Clint grinned.

"No offense, but you don't look as intimidating without the hair or the Winter Soldier get-up."

Bucky narrowed his eyes as he flexed his cybernetic arm.

"What are you trying to say?"

Steve cleared his throat.

"Guys, uh. Listen. Bucky, I know you think you can take down these men on your own, but Clint is extremely well-trained in this area as well. We need all the help we can get...so you're going to have to play nice."

Clint spoke up.

"Alright...so I have a hunch that something's going on..."

Steve explained the predicament to Clint as Clint walked around the room, picking up pieces of his outfit and equipment that he would need. They hurried further down the hallway to the office Steve and Bucky shared, and the two of them quickly suited up and grabbed their respective weapons as well. They took off down the hall once more at a run, only to be stopped by a woman who stepped out into the middle of it with her hands on her hips, blocking their path.

"Natasha."

She nodded to Clint as Steve spoke to her next,

"I thought you were going to lay low for a while?"

She shrugged.

"With a ledger this red, there's no such thing as laying low. My secrets are spilled out on the table now, so I might as well continue making a name for myself. I just got back in town."

Bucky grunted.

"Alright, well we've got places to be."

Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"You clean up well...Barnes, right? Should I be worried that you're casually walking the halls of S.H.I.E.L.D.? Last time I saw you, you tried to kill me."

Bucky smirked.

"I've got myself under control...for now at least."

Clint interrupted their bantering.

"Natasha, HYDRA's back in town and they've got Lydia."

"Well then, considering me officially a part of this mission. I've had a bit too much of a vacation, it's about time I get back to work."

Once they were piled into Steve's car and heading in the direction of the side of town Lydia lived on, Natasha leaned forward and poked her head between the two front seats.

"There's a really morbid vibe in this car right now. Steve, it's been too long since I've bugged you about women. What about Lydia? She threw you into the friend zone pretty hard with that whole 'fake boyfriend for the parents' stunt, but saving her life might turn the tables!"

Steve coughed loudly as Bucky dramatically rolled his eyes and mumbled.

"Definitely not her type..."

Clint shushed them all as Steve parked the car and they split into groups of two. Bucky grumbled for a moment about being stuck with Clint, until Steve elbowed him and reminded him about what was at stake. His heartbeat quickened with the mixture of anxiety and anticipation that flooded over him. He and Clint quickly found their way onto a rooftop that was down the block from Lydia's apartment and they both began to scan the area for signs of the HYDRA snipers that David spoke of.

"You know, Barnes, you're not the only poor bastard that's had a taste of mind control. I can't really complain because I wasn't under for nearly as long as you, but I can testify to the fact that it's not a fun experience."

Bucky glanced over at Clint, who had an arrow pulled back in his bow, prepared to shoot at any moment. He replied in a hushed voice.

"I don't know why Steve's making such a big deal out of this, I could have handled all of this on my own. It's my damn fault she's in this mess, anyway."

Clint shook his head.

"HYDRA would be causing some sort of trouble for us here no matter what, even if Lydia wasn't part of the equation."

The second Clint's lips stopped moving and his words faded into the night, something clicked in Bucky's head. His entire body stiffened as the gears began spinning, his intricately trained mind putting the pieces together.

"There are no snipers."

Clint scoffed.

"Yeah, I noticed. What gives?"

Words began to tumble out of Bucky's mouth faster than he could process them.

"He was bluffing, hoping that we would bring you and Natasha as backup. He somehow knew that you were both returning today."

Clint furrowed his brows.

"So, what's going on then?"

"It's a trap. He wants all of us inside of that apartment..."

"Well, there's an easy solution then. We don't go in the apartment."

Bucky shook his head furiously.

"No! I'm not leaving Lydia."

Clint shrugged.

"How are you so sure she's even in there, if this was all a bluff?"

"I'm not, but there's only one way to find out. Even if she's not in there, I know he definitely is. I will find her, one way or another."

Their discussion was interrupted by a scream that had become far too familiar to Bucky's ears.

* * *

Lydia sat on the couch, head in her hands. David sat in a chair across from her with a sick smile spread across his face. The laptop sitting on the coffee table in between them continued to play the raw security footage from the HYDRA base where her brother and his fellow S.H.I.E.L.D. agents had been captured. Her eyes swam with tears that threatened to fall as she tried to push the images of Bucky torturing the men and her brother out of her mind. David leaned forward and gently placed a hand on her knee, which she immediately shied away from. She spoke to him through gritted teeth.

"What do you want from me?"

"Oh, dear, Lydia. It's not particularly you that I want, you just happen to be the key to getting what I want. My mission was to come here and find a way to lure out Captain America and The Winter Soldier, because apparently HYDRA has had enough of them. When I realized that the bait I was assigned to use happened to be you, it made my job that much easier."

"They're not stupid, you know. This isn't the first time they've dealt with you HYDRA scum."

David shrugged.

"Oh, sure, of course. But you see, trial and error is always followed by eventual success. This time around, they won't be escaping."

"Bucky has grown much stronger and regained full control of his mind at this point. You're not going to be able to use one of those radio devices to control him again."

David smirked at her confident statement.

"I wasn't planning on it. There are other ways to tame him."

Lydia slammed the laptop screen shut, tears slowly falling down her cheeks. She knew Bucky had been under HYDRA's control at the time of the experiments, but she couldn't stop the sick and disgusted feeling that remained in her stomach. Her mind began to tick with foolish ideas to attempt to escape David. He wasn't exactly a sturdily built man, so she wondered if she could hold her own against him. She knew better than to try, though, because he wouldn't have left her hands free if he thought she would be able to escape.

"I still don't understand why you needed me for this. I'm sure it would have been easier to just show up at Steve's apartment?"

"I heard through the grapevine that there was a possibility of your boys bringing some extra company if I waited till tonight and let things play out this way."

Lydia barely had time to understand what he was insinuating before the door to her apartment was kicked open. Steve and Natasha entered the room and everything clicked into place. She realized HYDRA's whole plan was to pick off S.H.I.E.L.D.'s human defenses, so their next invasion would not be stopped.

"Steve, Natasha, NO! You can't be here, it's a set up!"

Steve reached for his shield, but his reaction time wasn't fast enough. Two figures wearing black jumpsuits quickly entered the apartment behind them and threw a glowing blue ring around Steve's neck. He felt to the ground in pain as it tightened against his throat. Lydia cried out,

"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"

David laughed menacingly.

"Impressive, isn't it? We just recently finished developing that collar. He's now even weaker than the average human being thanks to the electricity and radiation pulsing through his veins. Think of it as two magnets forcing one another in opposite directions"

Natasha, meanwhile, had one of the masked enemies in a headlock as she began to repeatedly knee them in the face. Lydia praised the upper hand she had gained, until a large group of the cloaked enemies appeared in the hall and restrained her with handcuffs. David glanced down at his watch.

"Now your knight in shining armor should be here any minute..."

Right on cue, four of the masked men were sent flying across the room. Bucky stomped in, taking ragged breaths, shortly followed by Clint. Lydia watched in horror as more members of HYDRA began to flood the hallways and enter the apartment. Clint, a man more skilled at distance where he could utilize his arrows, was quickly overwhelmed and handcuffed, thrown to the floor beside Natasha. Steve was slumped against the wall, struggling to fight off the effects of the collar around his neck. Lydia was too distracted as she nervously watched Bucky fight the men and didn't notice as David cuffed her hands as well. She began to kick and struggle as David pulled out a syringe and firmly grasped her arm.

Bucky, who had been lost in his rage as he skillfully took down the men surrounding him, glanced up as he heard Lydia cry out once more. It was in that moment of weakness that the men took advantage of him and slapped a collar around his neck, which brought him to his knees. One last cry escaped Lydia's throat before the sedative in the needle kicked in.

* * *

Lydia's eyes slowly opened and she found herself lying on a cold, damp concrete floor. She groaned and pushed herself into a sitting position, relieved to find that her handcuffs were removed. She glanced to her left to find Natasha sitting on an elevated slab of concrete that seemed to serve as joke of a bed, meanwhile Bucky sat slumped against the far wall.

"Hey. You're finally awake."

She looked around for Steve's voice, and realized he was in a cell beside them, merely separated by bars in between.

"Where the hell are we?"

Steve shot her a wary glance.

"I don't think you'll be too happy if I describe the location."

Lydia's heartbeat sped up as she replied,

"Please tell me we're not under water."

Steve nodded, fully aware of Lydia's intense phobia of deep, open water.

"There were so many of them, we didn't stand a chance. I don't know how they managed to pull it off, but they loaded us all into a truck, drove to a harbor, tossed us in a submarine, and brought us here. Bucky and I can't even attempt to break us out of here because of these collars and his cybernetic arm will barely move. I don't understand what they're planning on doing with us."

"They needed to remove us from the equation so we don't get in the way of their plans."

Lydia had almost forgotten Clint had been at her apartment and part of the mission until he spoke up from the cell that Steve was in. She let loose an exasperated sigh.

"So how are we going to get out of here if Steve and Bucky are both incapacitated?"

Natasha stood up and approached the three of them, leaning against the bars separating the two cells.

"Well, since our team's strength has been virtually eliminated we'll have to resort to outsmarting them, I guess."

"Good luck with that, these assholes are too intelligent for their own good."

All of them turned to glance at Bucky, who had finally lifted his head and spoken up. As he approached, Lydia backed away from him. The look of despair in his eyes told her that he knew what she had seen. She was relieved that he was okay, but she still couldn't look past the images that were burned into her mind.

"I'm sorry..."

He looked into her eyes and said the words quietly, so nobody else would hear them. She quickly averted her gaze and walked to the other side of the cell, leaning against the wall as she slowly slid down to the floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on her arms as she tuned out the sounds of the other four discussing possible escape tactics.

She was shaken out of her daze as Bucky slid down onto the floor beside her and gently tapped her shoulder.

"We should talk..."

She gave him a weary look.

"I don't see what there is to talk about. I don't want to talk about it."

Bucky bit his lip as he tried to find the right words to say.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner...but I'm sure you can understand wh-"

Lydia cut him off before he could continue speaking.

"I thought we trusted each other. You could have found a way to tell me. You don't understand how much it hurt having to watch it instead of hearing it from you."

"I know...I made a big mistake. I just didn't want to hurt you anymore than you've already been hurt. It tore me to pieces every time you would cry over him...I couldn't voluntarily make that wound even deeper.."

Lydia gave him a half-hearted shrug.

"I guess there was no easy way around it, but looking at you is really difficult right now. It hurts...a lot. This isn't really the most convenient time to be saying this...but I just need some space from you."

A somber look crossed over Bucky's face as he stood up and walked away, leaving her alone as she wished.

* * *

The halls outside of their cells were quiet, save for the occasional rumble above them. Bucky's stomach lurched every time that occurred as he wondered just how stable the underwater base could be. He glanced over at Lydia, who was sitting against the bars separating the two cells. She was talking to Steve and Clint in a hushed voice.

He wanted to laugh at the irony of every situation he was currently caught in the middle of. How did four of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s best get captured within a matter of minutes? How did he manage to fail Lydia yet again? How was it that she was now the one that didn't want to be near him? He was beginning to think that living life as a mindless assassin had been easier, because living with emotions was far too painful. Natasha's voice broke through his thoughts.

"I hope you're not beating yourself up over Lydia being involved in this. She knew the life she was signing up for when she joined S.H.I.E.L.D., and she's tough enough to handle it. Steve kind of filled me in on everything before we got to the apartment..."

"But she wouldn't be such a hot target if she hadn't been involved with me."

"You do realize that she stole very sensitive information from right under HYDRA's nose the day of the whole Project Insight fiasco, right? She was on their shit list regardless...you just helped make the situation a bit more sensitive, that's all. We've all made mistakes in our past, and you're not going to get anywhere if you can't forgive yourself."

"I guess you're right..."

Footsteps suddenly began to echo in the dark and empty space outside of the cells, and they all fell into a hushed silence as they waited for the source of the sound to appear. Alexander Pierce came into view, and Steve immediately jumped to his feet and approached the bars that separated them.

"What the hell are you doing here!?"

Pierce chuckled at Steve's outburst.

"I'm a very powerful man, Rogers. I would have thought you would have figured that out by now. Something as petty as a cell guarded by S.H.I.E.L.D. cannot keep me contained."

Natasha spoke up, glaring at Pierce with eyes full of hatred.

"You should be dead."

He shrugged in response.

"I could say the same for you. Now, enough with the hostility. You haven't even given me the chance to explain why you're here!"

Clint chimed in from the corner of the cell he and Steve were in,

"You've brought us to the main HYDRA base so we can finally destroy all of you scum once and for all?"

Pierce smirked.

"Oh, don't you wish. Unfortunately, you will not be given that glorious opportunity. See, I have gathered you all here so I can see your faces light up when I tell you that Project Insight will live to see another day!"

Steve furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"All three of the helicarriers and the weapons were destroyed."

"Ahhh, yes, of course they were. However, soldier, you do not give HYDRA enough credit. We planned for the possibility of failure, which is why our backup plan is already in the final stages of completion. While the helicarriers and weaponry were being developed, we were also creating ships here with the same technology. The ships aren't quite as convenient as an air attack to cleanse the Earth, but ships will allow us to truly make this event a surprise for everyone."

Lydia bravely stood up, hands balled into fists, as her body shook in anger.

"These aren't the only superheroes on Earth. When Fury realizes these four are gone, Stark and Banner will get involved."

Pierce made a 'tsk tsk' noise as he began to pace back and forth in front of the two cells.

"Honestly, it astounds me how much you all seem to doubt HYDRA, even after S.H.I.E.L.D. was compromised for so many years. Fury is a bit tied up at the moment...so you shouldn't count on anyone coming to rescue you."

Lydia angrily replied,

"You're a rotten bastard, Pierce."

Pierce took a step closer to Lydia, who was pressed up against the bars of the cell, holding them tightly. His menacing eyes bored into hers as he spoke.

"So feisty, Agent Fortona. I look forward to extinguishing that fiery passion that burns inside of you very shortly. We have a wonderful gift for you here, my dear."

Lydia, extremely confused at this point, narrowed her eyes.

"What are you talking about...?"

Bucky gently put his hand on her shoulder; his heart racing because he knew exactly what Pierce was talking about. Pierce grinned before he turned to walk away and he called out over his shoulder,

"Oh, you'll see. Perhaps tomorrow. You should all get some rest!"

Lydia turned to face the others as Bucky let his hand fall. Steve and Bucky exchanged a discreet and pained look, deciding whether or not to tell Lydia what Pierce was talking about. Neither of them spoke up, silently agreeing upon the fact that an educated guess could cause more trouble than it was worth if they were wrong about Pierce's threat. Mentally exhausted, they all decided to try and rest to prepare for whatever the next day would bear. Steve laid down on an elevated rectangle of concrete whilst Clint and Natasha sat side by side, or as close as they could get with the bars between the cells separating them.

Lydia glanced over at Bucky, who was sitting against the wall and forlornly staring down at his hands. She frowned at the conflicting feelings that bubbled up inside of her. Her heart desperately wanted to lay beside him and close her eyes, imagining tender, comforting moments like the nights spent together innocently lying side by side in her bed. However, her mind still felt sickened with the knowledge of what he had done. She knew she couldn't be angry with him forever though, because it would be cruel to punish him for his brainwashed actions.

As she fought to stay afloat amidst her stormy thoughts, Bucky slowly lifted his head. When his soft eyes met hers, an involuntary sigh escaped her lips. She felt as if a lump was nailed into her throat as her insides began to protest at the rushing flood of feelings that overcame her. Her feet began to carry her forward, and she was barely aware of what she was doing as she slid to the floor beside him. Their faces were inches apart as she turned to look into his eyes, fighting to maintain an even breathing pattern. The pain and regret in his eyes temporarily broke down her remaining resolve to keep a distance from him. He cautiously lifted his arm up, and she leaned into his side as he gently pulled her closer to him. A tear slid down her cheek as she closed her eyes and breathed in his familiar and comforting scent.

* * *

**_A/N: SIGH! Please don't hate me for the lack of Lydia and Bucky interaction in this chapter.  
The plot needs to get moving before better things can happen, unfortunately._**  
**_Buuuuuuut I promise I'll be making up for it soon :)_**


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N: SO MANY AWESOME REVIEWS! You guys are the goddamn best. All of your wonderful words prompted me to get this next chapter finished tonight :)_**

* * *

The five prisoners were greeted the following day by footsteps once again approaching the cells. David walked out of the shadows, flanked by two guards on either side of him. He entered Lydia's cell, brandishing a glowing blue stick in one hand. He turned to glance at Natasha and Bucky.

"Now, I wouldn't do anything stupid if I were either of you."

He pointed the stick at them as he spoke, then approached Lydia. She stepped backward with every step he took toward her, until she was up against the wall behind her. Bucky seethed in anger as he watched David bring his face inches from Lydia's. He went to take a step forward, but David waggled the stick in his direction the second he heard the shuffling of Bucky's feet.

Lydia attempted to maintain a rigid posture as she narrowed her eyes and stared directly into David's. He lent her a charming smile as he spoke.

"The dingy prison look doesn't suit you well, Lydia."

He brought a hand to her cheek and she closed her eyes as she balled her hands into fists.

"Don't. Touch. Me."

David raised an eyebrow before he dropped his hand back to his side.

"You know, Lydia. I could get you out of here, if you complied with my wishes."

He winked at her, only to find himself sputtering and coughing in pain seconds later as Bucky's fist made contact with the side of his throat. Lydia turned to Bucky with wide eyes as he gave her a weak smile, and then found himself groaning on the floor in pain as David regained his composure and used the stick to send thousands of volts of electricity coursing through his body.

"Foolish idiot. You forget how weak you are with that collar on. It's impossible for you to withstand the power of this weapon now. Next time, I will aim for your head and your brain will be fried for good."

Lydia rushed to Bucky's side as David laughed and exited the cell.

* * *

Shortly after David's visit, two guards returned and removed Lydia from the cell. Bucky protested until one guard cornered him with another one of the high voltage sticks. They had a stare down until Lydia called out,

"Bucky, it's not worth it. I'm sure I'll be okay."

He stubbornly dropped his gaze from the guard and turned to punch the concrete wall behind him as they walked away.

Lydia nervously walked beside the guard that had a firm grip on her forearm. Despite her last words of confidence, she was extremely worried about where her destination would be. She was, after all, the most useless out of the group. Keeping her alive was a waste for HYDRA.

The guards stopped in front of a large black door and pulled her inside of the room behind it. The room was empty other than a folding table and two chairs. The guard that was holding her led her to one of the chairs and forced her to sit down, and then they exited the room. Not long after their departure, the door swung open once more.

"Ahhh, Miss Fortona. I have been looking forward to speaking to you in private."

Alexander Pierce rounded the table and sat down across from Lydia, folding his hands neatly in front of him as he gave her a devious smile. She bit her tongue as she fought off the urge to spit insults at him.

"I'm assuming that you're extremely curious about what it is that I want from you out of all the prisoners that are currently here, so I shall get right to the point. You see...the four prisoners down there all have special attributes that will make them perfect candidates for HYDRA agents once this next mission is completed. I especially look forward to having Barnes back on our team. Now, I'm sure that you have already come to realize that you are quite useless to us. However, I have had my eye on you since you joined S.H.I.E.L.D., and you are a very brilliant researcher. Your skills in your field are quite exceptional. That is why I would like to extend an incredible offer to you. I would like you to join HYDRA."

Lydia, who had been fighting to remain silent throughout his speech, burst out laughing.

"I hope you're joking. Are you joking? You're insane!"

Pierce raised his eyebrows and stood up, resting his hands on the edges of the table as he leaned toward Lydia.

"I am completely and entirely serious. I hope that you will take my offer into consideration, because otherwise you will rot in that cell."

Lydia's next words dripped with contempt.

"I would rot in that cell a thousand times over before I would ever make the decision to work for you bastards."

Pierce shrugged as he walked over to the door and allowed the two guards to enter the room once more.

"Well, Miss Fortona...I gave you a chance."

The guards roughly pulled her to her feet, placed handcuffs on her wrists, and led her in a different direction than the one they had originally come from. Lydia cried out,

"Where the hell are you taking me?!"

Pierce called out from behind her,

"Well, now it's time for your surprise, my dear!"

The guards roughly shoved her into yet another room, which was much smaller than the first. David stood with his back to her, looking through a large window that took up almost the entire wall that was before him. He stood there silently with his hands behind his back, not bothering to turn around as she entered.

"So I'm assuming that you turned down Pierce's offer."

Lydia spat out her response.

"Of course I did."

"Well, there's still time to change your mind."

Lydia slowly approached him to see what he was intently staring at through the window. She brought her handcuffed hands to her mouth in shock as she saw Bucky on his knees in the center of the room that was before them, blood dripping from a fresh wound on the side of his head. A door on the other side of the room slid open, and Lydia nearly passed out as she saw the figure that walked out of it. Bucky glanced up at the sound of footsteps as well, and his entire body visibly sagged as he saw the figure approaching him.

Aaron Fortona approached Bucky slowly and deliberately, his body clicking and buzzing as he walked. Lydia's eyes poured over Aaron's figure and her heart twisted in her chest because it was a horrifying sight to take in. Both of his arms appeared to be cybernetic like Bucky's, along with his left leg, and half of his face was terribly disfigured. Lydia began to feel dizzy and sick to her stomach as David moved to stand beside her and put his arm around her shoulders. He brought his lips against her ear and whispered,

"Surprise, Lydia."

She stuttered in response,

"H-h-how...?"

"When the supposedly dead bodies of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were delivered to this base to be disposed of, my team and I managed to revive your brother. He has been a wonderful lab rat over the years, as you can see. Dare I say, he is even more valuable than the Winter Soldier at this point."

She struggled to breathe as she watched Aaron mercilessly kick Bucky in the face. Bucky laid on his back as Aaron continued to attack him relentlessly. His blood spattered across the floor as countless wounds were inflicted upon his body. Lydia glanced at David, who was busy staring at the scene before them, and then glanced down at her hands. The guards had foolishly cuffed them in front of her body rather than behind her back. She took a deep breath and then kicked David as hard as she possibly could in the back of his knee. Caught off guard, he stumbled backward. She took advantage of the moment, lifted her arms up, and threw them around David's neck. She violently jerked him downward as he kicked and grunted, struggling to breathe. David ended up sprawled out on the floor as she rested her knees on his arms to pin him down. She kept the chain of the handcuffs tightly against his throat as she spoke in a calm voice.

"Tell me the code to unlock the collar."

Earlier that day, she had taken notice of a keypad at the back of Bucky's collar. David stared at her as his face began to redden and kept his mouth tightly shut. She placed more pressure on his neck and he began to wriggle and cough. She lifted her hands slightly, and he spoke in a strained voice.

"2...7...6...8...you...bitch."

Lydia narrowed her eyes and kneed him in the face. Hard. Blood began pouring from his nose and he rolled to his side as she stood up and raced for the door that was beside the window. She burst into the room that Aaron and Bucky were in, skidding to a halt directly in between the two of them. Bucky yelled at her in a hoarse and pained voice.

"LYDIA...GET OUT...NOW..!"

In that moment, Aaron froze and stared directly into Lydia's eyes. She slowly backed up until she was beside Bucky, and frantically entered the numbers on the collar. It dropped to the floor with a meaningful clink as Bucky rose to his feet. Aaron shook his head, released from his momentary stupor, and charged toward both of them. Bucky jumped in front of Lydia and took the blow. Despite Bucky's lack of mechanical muscle compared to Aaron, he still trumped him with his many years of training. Bucky pinned him against the wall as Lydia ran toward them and clamped the collar around Aaron's neck. He collapsed to the ground, groaning in pain, as the collar inhibited his strength. Lydia fought back tears as she lowered herself to her knees and crouched beside Aaron.

"Aaron..."

He looked up at her with eyes that were filled with nothing but dead and emotionless space and quickly brought his hands to her throat. Bucky swiftly sent Aaron flying backward as he punched him in the face. He scooped up Lydia before she could protest and took off running, barreling right through the door that Aaron had entered from.

Two guards that had been standing outside of the room blocked their path, but Bucky swiftly took both of them out with his now-functioning arm after placing Lydia on her feet. He scooped up the guards' guns and shot down three more guards that were approaching before they even knew what was coming at them. They began to take off at a run down the hallway, until Bucky spotted a small door. He quickly stopped and threw the door open, dragging Lydia inside with him.

They found themselves inside of a supply closet, which Bucky had been anticipating. Bucky quickly broke off the handcuffs that were restraining Lydia. She breathed out a sigh of relief as she crumpled into Bucky's arms in the darkness and mumbled into his shoulder,

"He's alive..."

Tears streamed down her cheeks as her heart ached within her chest.

"I promise I had no idea..."

"I know that. What am I supposed to do though, Bucky?"

"He's very far gone, Lydia. I was extremely lucky that I managed to take control of myself. It was the most difficult thing I have fought against in my entire life. I can't say if he will be able to do the same..."

Lydia's sobbing was muffled as she buried her face into his chest.

"It hurts...my heart...everything...I just..."

Bucky slowly pulled away from her and cupped her face in his hands. Although she couldn't see his eyes in the darkness, she still felt a quivering feeling in her chest at the thought of staring into them at such a close proximity like she had so many times before. The sensation of his hot breath caressing her face left her bottom lip quivering. He softly traced the thumb of his good hand across her lips and leaned down to rest his forehead against hers. Lydia felt her insides flutter as a sigh escaped her lips and she lifted her arms so they were resting around his neck. Bucky's hands began to tremble as he slowly placed his lips against hers, and both of their hearts pounded in unison. They both stood absolutely still as their slightly parted lips rested against one another, letting loose miniscule shaky breaths that were passed between their mouths. Bucky's lips remained against hers as he spoke into the kiss,

"I promise I'm going to get you out of here."

They stood there in silence for a few more moments as Bucky let his fingers brush across the nape of her neck, causing Lydia to shiver. He pulled away from her slightly, but lowered his good hand and intertwined his fingers with hers.

"I have a plan. If my memory serves me right, then we'll be escaping in no time."

Before Lydia could ask him what he meant, Bucky quickly crouched down to the floor and began to blindly run his hands against the walls.

"Yes!"

"What is it?!"

Bucky looked up in Lydia's direction and grinned, although she couldn't see it.

"Despite the brainwashing, I managed to remember a very important thing about all of the HYDRA bases that I frequented in my darker days. They're big fans of hidden escape routes."

Lydia crouched down beside Bucky and felt around in the darkness until her hand was beside his and she realized he was holding on to a handle. She moved backward so he could pull the handle, and the small door creaked open. She peered inside to find a crawl space that was dimly lit by lights embedded into the walls.

"I know it's not ideal...but this could be our ticket out of here. I'll go first, stay close behind me."

Bucky crawled into the passageway and Lydia closed the small door behind her as she entered. Every so often as they crawled, the tunnel would split and reveal multiple paths that they could take. Bucky went with his gut each time, choosing a path quickly before he could let hesitation get the best of him. They eventually arrived at a dead end, and heard muffled voices on the other side of the door that was in front of them. Bucky muttered,

"Son of a bitch...how convenient..."

Bucky pushed open the door and they found themselves in a closet. They peered through the slits in the wooden closet door to see David frantically pacing around in front of none other than Azarov's desk. Azarov sat at his desk with his hands folded in front of him. Bucky silently pushed one of the guns that he had swiped from the guards into Lydia's trembling hands. He looked down at her and she nodded to him, and then he kicked the door open. David and Azarov both looked up in surprise. Before either of them could react, Bucky charged at Azarov and tackled him to the floor. Lydia, meanwhile, went running toward David, who was busy watching the scene on the floor before him. She pushed him up against a wall and held the gun against his throat.

"Give me a reason not to do this, David."

He looked right into her eyes and laughed at her mockingly.

"You won't pull the trigger, Lydia. You're a coward. You could never kill someone."

Lydia bit her lip in frustration as she found her finger was frozen against the trigger. She raised the gun in the air, prepared to attempt to knock David out with the butt of the gun, but David went flying from her grip and crashed into a nearby bookcase. She turned to Bucky, who cracked his knuckles and shrugged.

"You're not worthy of weighing on her conscience, anyway, shithead."

He walked over and roughly kicked David in the ribs before turning back around and throwing open all of the drawers of Azarov's desk. He found another gun and a handful of circular objects, which he recognized as smoke bombs, and he quickly pocketed them. Bucky began to head for the exit, but Lydia cried out,

"Wait!"

She hurriedly approached a shelf and picked up an object that could have easily been missed because it was lying flat. A grin spread across her face as she held up Steve's shield to show Bucky. Equipped with their newly acquired accessories, they hurriedly exited the room and spotted a hoard of guards headed their way from one end of the hall. Bucky tossed a smoke bomb in their direction and quickly grabbed onto Lydia's hand as they took off running the other way. Bucky took as many twists and turns as he could, pausing momentarily to toss a smoke bomb down another passage that guards could be seen running down. Lydia spoke through labored breaths as they continued to run,

"We need...to get...to the cells.."

Bucky turned to her and nodded and spoke with a bit more ease, as his body was nowhere near tired yet.

"I've been looking for the stairwell or something to get there..."

Coincidentally, they found themselves skidding to a halt in front of a door, which was also a dead end. 'Basement Cells' was written on a small plaque on the door. Bucky wrenched it open, breaking the lock with ease, and quickly knocked out two guards that were waiting for them behind the door. They hurried down the steps and ran down the dim and musty path until they found the cells that Steve, Natasha, and Clint were in. Bucky ripped open the doors to the cells and freed them, meanwhile Lydia handed Steve his shield and released the collar from around his neck with the same code that Bucky's had required.

Few words were exchanged between the group as they tore down the hall and back up the steps to the upper level. The HYDRA guards that began to spill out of rooms to block their path didn't stand a chance. Bucky and Steve sent most of them flying, while Clint and Natasha handled the ones that slipped past. Lydia ran in the middle of the pack with a tight grip on the gun in her hands. The eventually burst through a large set of double doors and found Pierce sitting at the head of a large table that was in the center of the room. Before any of them could say a word, Lydia uncharacteristically stormed up to Pierce first. Without hesitation, she shoved the gun into his mouth. Her heart was pounding so fast that she swore it was going to leap out of her chest. Pierce put both of his hands in the air and Lydia slowly pulled the gun out of his mouth and prayed for her hands to refrain from shaking. He spoke as soon as his mouth was free.

"Thanks to your misbehavior, I'll be releasing those ships much sooner now."

He gestured to a control board that was behind him, with a screen above it scanning the Earth and listing targets at a staggering speed. At that moment, two guards entered the room with Aaron in between them. The collar was no longer around his neck. Lydia had turned to see Aaron entering, which gave Pierce the opportunity to swipe her gun from her hands and hold it against her throat. She yelped in surprise as the cool metal pressed against her neck.

Bucky nearly crushed the gun that was in his hands and went to take a step forward, but Steve's arm shot out and held him back. He sharply spoke to him.

"You're not fast enough. Don't."

A wicked smile crept across Pierce's face as he addressed Aaron.

"Soldier Fortona, please take care of these four."

Aaron stood still and glanced in Bucky's direction for a split second. He took a deep breath and took a step toward Pierce, instead. Before Pierce could even speak, Aaron firmly grabbed on to the arm that Pierce was holding the gun with and pulled it outward, releasing Lydia. He continued to pull and a sickening crunch confirmed that Pierce's arm was broken. The older man moaned in pain as Aaron pinned him to the ground. He called out to Lydia and the rest in a strangled voice.

"Get out of here...NOW!"

Bucky quickly grabbed Lydia's hand before she could protest and they all took off running. To Bucky's dismay, he still had not figured out how to navigate the hallways because they generally all looked the same. After a few minutes of running and taking down all opposing members of HYDRA that attempted to stop them, Aaron came bursting out of a door in front of them. They all froze as he stood there, panting slightly with a pained look on his face. Bucky took in the sight before him with a heavy heart, because he truly understood how badly Aaron was struggling to remain in control of himself. Lydia took a step forward and Bucky held on to her hand for a moment longer before releasing it.

Aaron and Lydia stared at each other for a few moments before they each took another step forward and he embraced her. Lydia's body shook as tears and emotions overwhelmed her. She choked out words between her sobs.

"I missed...you...so much."

Aaron replied to her softly,

"I missed you too, sis..."

Lydia pulled back slightly and looked up at him.

"Come with us, please."

Aaron gave her a sad smile.

"You know there's nothing in the world I want more than that...but I can't. There are transmitters embedded inside of me that will explode and kill me if I leave this place."

Lydia's vision became blurry as the tears overwhelmed her.

"But I'm sure we can find a way around that!"

Aaron sadly shook his head.

"There isn't enough time. Plus, the only way to end this for good is if someone initiates the self-destruction switch. I'm going to do that for you, because you won't make it to the submarine in time if any of you do it."

Lydia shook her head and held on to her brother for dear life.

"You can't leave me again. Please. Don't."

Aaron hugged her tightly before he pulled back once more and looked into his sister's pleading eyes.

"I love you, Lydia. I spent years with my mind locked away, without any knowledge of who the hell I am. Seeing your face woke me back up and I could finally remember everything. Please just be happy, because you're freeing me from this pain and you have no idea how happy it makes me to see you one last time."

Lydia's heart ached as she despondently replied,

"I love you too, Aaron. Always."

Aaron squeezed her hand as he took a step backward and looked at Bucky.

"Take care of her."

Bucky nodded as he approached Lydia and placed his hand on her lower back. Aaron quickly gave them directions to where the submarine was located before he turned to leave. Steve led the way as they took off in the direction that Aaron had indicated, but Lydia remained rooted to the floor. Her eyes were full of grief. Bucky grabbed her hand and squeezed it and softly said,

"It's time to go, Lydia."

She frowned.

"I know..."

They took off running behind the other three, quickly catching up to them. The group entered a large room that had an extremely large dip in the floor. The submarine rested in the dip, awaiting deployment. They scrambled inside of it and Clint quickly figured out the controls. One large button caused a dome to rise from the floor and close around the submarine, essentially created an airtight seal. The floor beneath the submarine then opened up to reveal the vast water beneath them. They began to gradually pick up speed and put considerable distance between them and the base. Within a few minutes, they heard rumbling noises as the base behind them began to explode. The force of the explosion pushed the submarine forward even faster, and small bits of debris began to float by.

Lydia turned to look at Bucky, who stood with his arms crossed as he stared straight ahead at the water that was before them. He glanced down at her miserable face and his gaze softened. She bit her lip and took a step toward him, and he opened up his arms as he enveloped her in a tight embrace.


	12. Chapter 12

**_A/N: Holy crap, guys. I'm terrible. That was a really long time in between updates, I know. I apologize. _**  
**_Blame it on Sebastian Stan, seriously. I sort of kind of started watching Once Upon a Time because he's in a few episodes, and I ended up spending absolutely all of my free time power watching all three that I'm all caught up on it I can promise you all that my dedication has now returned to this fic! _**

**_Once again thank you so much to all the awesome people who left kind words about this!_**  
**_I'm sorry this chapter isn't as long as the last few, I was really itching to get something up!_**

**_WARNING!_****_ There's a bit of descriptive intimacy at the beginning of this. Nothing TOO intense, which is why I'm keeping the fic at a T rating. But it's a bit more than anything in the last 11 chapters, so I just needed to mention it before you all start reading._**

* * *

The remainder of the trip home was relatively uneventful for the group. They returned to the S.H.I.E.L.D. base to find Fury and the other agents in a commotion. Immediately after they had been taken to the HYDRA base, a group of HYDRA operatives had shut down the S.H.I.E.L.D. base. They retreated once Bucky and the others had escaped, though.

"What in the HELL happened?"

Fury stormed up to them upon their arrival, while Steve immediately launched into a debriefing of the events that unraveled at the underwater base. Natasha and Clint joined in on the conversation; meanwhile Bucky glanced over at a very drained looking Lydia. He excused himself from the group and placed his hand on Lydia's shoulder.

"Let's get you home, okay?"

* * *

Bucky awkwardly stood outside of the door to Lydia's apartment with his hands in his pockets as she stepped inside. She turned around to face him and bit her lip, mulling over a thought in her head.

"Bucky...I know you're living with Steve...but...if you want to stay here tonight..."

He felt his stomach do a somersault as a nervous smile spread across his face.

"Of course. After that mess, I don't want to let you out of my sight."

She returned his smile as he followed her into the apartment. Lydia turned around to face him once more after he shut the door behind him.

"I don't have all that spare bedding that I used to at my old apartment...so I guess you sleeping on the couch is out of the question...I don't know if me asking you to do this is awkward..."

Bucky was momentarily at a loss for words, but quickly straightened up and gained the confidence to respond,

"Sharing a bed just means I get to keep an even closer eye on you."

* * *

Too exhausted to shower, Lydia slipped into pajamas as Bucky changed in the bathroom to give her privacy. As she stood in front of the dresser her eyes fell upon a photo that she had removed from her photo album and placed in a frame recently, after moving into the new apartment. It was a photo of her and Aaron as children, arms wrapped tightly around one another as their eyes gleamed with happiness. She gripped the edges of the dresser as her lower lip began to tremble. The door to the bedroom creaked open as she let loose a shaky breath. Shortly after, two arms snaked around her waist from behind and a stubbly chin rested against the crook of her neck. She shivered as the cool metal of Bucky's arm pressed against her. The hairs on her neck stood up as he whispered into her ear,

"Come to bed."

He laced the fingers of his good hands with hers as he pulled her toward the bed, turning off the light on the way. She watched him hesitate momentarily before slipping under the covers, pulling her under with him. She laid with her back to him as he pulled her tightly against him and left his hand resting on her hip. His breaths came out shaky as he nuzzled his face against her neck and gently brushed his lips against her shoulder. An electrifying feeling spread throughout Lydia's body each time Bucky's lips made contact with her skin. She took a deep breath before eventually rolling over to face him, lying so close that their noses were almost touching. Hot air from Bucky's mouth tickled Lydia's lips as he spoke.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

She stared into his eyes, which were reflecting the moonlight that poured in through the window behind her.

"For causing so much trouble in your life. You'd be so much better off if you hadn't run into me that day."

Lydia shook her head slightly.

"Bucky, at this point, I don't think there's any way that I could possibly be better off without you."

She gently placed her hand against his chest and felt that his heart was pounding just as rapidly as hers. The distance between them shrunk ever so slightly as they both moved forward just enough so that their noses brushed against one another. Bucky began to trace small circles on the bare skin between the bottom of her t-shirt and the waistband of her shorts. He tilted his head upward slightly and let his lips press against Lydia's nose, as she gently kissed his chin in return. The stubble that was present tickled her lips as she fought to contain her labored breathing.

Bucky's hand slowly slid to the small of her back as he pulled her body closer against his, and she felt herself melt against his touch. Time dripped by painstakingly slow as they laid pressed up against one another. She tilted her head slightly upward and rested her lips against his cheek. Bucky shifted and moved his head slightly so his lips rested against the corner of hers. Lydia felt as if her entire body was on fire as she brought her hand up to the top of his head and gently ran her fingers through his soft hair.

Bucky removed his hand from her side and brought it up to cup the side of Lydia's face. A small gasp barely had time to escape her lips as he turned her head slightly so their lips finally met. He caressed her cheek as she lowered her hand to rest on his collarbone. As his soft lips pressed against hers, she eagerly returned the kiss. Bucky's hand soon became entangled in Lydia's hair, and the innocence of the kiss quickly dissolved. He bit her lip as she gripped his shoulder, nails digging into his skin. His lips left hers momentarily as he traced kisses down her jawline and then nibbled on her collarbone. Lydia pulled his face back up to hers as a yearning overcame her and her tongue danced against his as she deepened the kiss, whilst his lips hungrily devoured hers.

Seconds later, Bucky abruptly broke off the kiss and pushed himself back slightly so he was staring into her eyes. Both of their chests heaved as they tried to steady their quivering breaths. Lydia stared into his eyes nervously, silently asking what was wrong. His lips curved upward as he traced his finger along her collarbone.

"You are so goddamn beautiful."

A fluttering feeling burst within Lydia's chest as he spoke and cupped her face in his hands once more. The cool metal of his left hand contrasted greatly with her skin, which she imagined was burning hot to the touch. She stared into his eyes for a moment longer before bringing her lips crashing against his once more, letting her hand snake under his shirt as she pressed her body against his.

* * *

Lydia awoke the next morning and smiled as she found herself wrapped tightly in Bucky's protective embrace, her back to his chest. A blush spread across her cheeks as she felt his naked skin against hers; his hand curled around her bare hip. She moved ever so slightly and a moan escaped his lips, followed by a kiss that he planted in curve of her neck, which sent shivers racing down her spine. She smiled and rolled over, letting her nose brush against his. Both of their eyes were closed as she quietly whispered,

"Good morning."

Bucky groaned and placed a soft kiss against her lips as he gently pushed and nudged her to roll back over. He held her against him once more as he kissed the back of her neck and mumbled,

"Too early... more sleep..."

* * *

In the weeks that passed, Bucky struggled to remain composed around Lydia while they worked side by side at the S.H.I.E.L.D. base. He found himself faced with Steve's smug smile each morning, as he would show up at Steve's apartment to grab fresh clothing for the day.

"I don't know why you don't just keep your clothes there instead..."

The morning that Steve said that, Bucky shot a grin in his direction.

"Wouldn't want you to think I'm leaving you again, buddy."

Meanwhile, Steve responded with a smirk,

"End of the line, pal. Seriously though, I won't be offended. It's nice to see you happy...in fact...you've been glowing lately."

Bucky found himself very interested in his orange juice and toast as Steve raised an eyebrow.

Trying to concentrate on work when he was in the same building as Lydia proved to be quite the challenge. For instance, just the other morning...

_Bucky walked out of Fury's office, head swimming with ideas as they discussed future plans. He strode down the hallway, heading towards the office he shared with Steve, only to be roughly pulled down a smaller hallway that he was just about to pass by. Lydia pushed herself up against him, pinning both of his hands against the wall behind them, before passionately kissing him. When their lips separated as they both gulped for air, she smiled at him mischievously before taking off in the direction of her own office._

Despite his opinion on the matter, Fury urged Bucky to allow Lydia to join him on small field missions. Lydia had spent all of her former time at S.H.I.E.L.D. in an office, and after the latest events she had demanded Fury let her train to become more competent outside of the building. Bucky constantly worried for her safety, but couldn't deny that he found himself enjoying the excuse to spend even more time with her. Bucky only let her join him on outings that he was positive would be free of any traces of HYDRA, which were simple enough missions that guaranteed she wouldn't be hurt.

When they weren't out and about, they often found themselves inside of a training room that had been set up in the base. Bucky enjoyed having a positive outlet for his otherwise deadly skills as he taught Lydia how to attack and defend herself. After some time, Clint began to occasionally join them and added in some of his training as well. Despite his initial distaste for his attitude, Bucky soon found himself regarding Clint as a good friend whilst the two laughed over similar experiences and stories.

One morning, Bucky stood with his arms crossed beside Clint as he watched Lydia scale the rock wall that was on the opposite side of the room.

"You're crazy about her, huh?"

Bucky furrowed his brows as his turned to face Clint.

"What makes you say that?"

Clint chuckled.

"It's nice to see Lydia this happy. She's mostly kept to herself in all the years I've known her here. I swear it's like you opened up a new side of her or something."

Bucky couldn't help but smile as he turned back to watch Lydia once more.

* * *

"We've picked up on some suspicious activity in New York City."

Nick Fury paced back and forth across the room as Bucky and Steve sat in the chairs in front of his desk. Steve spoke up,

"What kind of suspicious activity?"

"There seems to be an alarming amount of electronic output coming from computers in an abandoned building. We can't get any specific readings on what's going on, as if they're blocking us out or something. I want you two to head up there and check it out. It's probably nothing too serious, but I don't like secrets, so I'd like to know what's happening there."

To Lydia's dismay, Bucky refused to let her join them on the mission because of a bad feeling that gnawed as his gut. The mission was much further than any of the small adventures they had recently embarked on, and he wasn't entirely sure Fury's _'nothing too serious'_ assumption was correct.

Bucky climbed into the passenger seat of the black S.H.I.E.L.D. SUV as Steve placed the keys in the ignition. Hours passed and they spent the time on the open highway joking about the irony of the situation.

"Honestly, they send us of all people to handle something that involves computers?"

They parked the SUV a considerable distance from the location of the building, hoping that the mission wouldn't require a quick getaway. As Bucky slid guns into the holster around his hips and Steve placed his shield on his back, they heard the distinct thud of the back hatch of the truck closing. Lydia sauntered over to them, shaking her head.

"Honestly, you would think that two of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s best would think to check the very back of the truck before leaving..."

She teasingly smiled as Bucky's jaw dropped.

"No."

Steve shot him a glance and shrugged, smiling slightly.

"You've got to admit, she's really dedicated."

Bucky spoke through gritted teeth.

"It's not safe."

Steve replied,

"You heard Fury, this shouldn't be anything too crazy. Lydia's been training with you and Clint for a while, and you guys were doing firearms practice last week, right?"

Bucky threw up his hands and let loose an exasperated sigh as he opened the passenger door once more and handed Lydia a holster and two handguns. She smiled and pecked him on the lips while he frowned in return.

"I would make you wait in the car but I'll feel better if you're in my sight."

Lydia glared at him.

"What was the point of all that training if you're going to treat me like a child?!"

Bucky's gaze softened as he heard the stress in her voice.

"I know...I just don't want anything to happen to you..."

She smiled and grabbed his hand reassuringly.

"I'm working beside two super soldiers. I think I'll be okay."

With that, they set off in the direction of the building in question. Bucky stared up at the sun-beaten red brick of the long-forgotten structure as he rested his hand on the handle of a locked door. With a quick flick of his wrist, the lock snapped and the door swung open in front of them to reveal a dimly lit hallway. A faint buzzing noise enveloped their ears as they stepped inside. Bucky led the way as they headed up multiple flights of stairs, the noise growing louder as they ascended. When they finally came to large, red door and Bucky pushed it open, Steve muttered,

"Shit."

The room was filled with hundreds of computers, and the face of Arnim Zola flashed upon the largest screen when they entered. His voice boomed throughout the room.

"Ahhh, welcome!"

Bucky turned to Steve.

"I thought you said he was destroyed..."

Confusion was etched all over Steve's face as their eyes met.

"I thought he was."

Zola's voice rang out once more.

"The most wonderful part of computers today is that you can back up virtually anything, and a limitless supply of computers allows limitless space and possibilities."

Steve's voice grew angry as he spoke once more.

"What the hell is going on here?"

A chuckle echoed and bounced off the walls of the large room as some of the computer screens began to light up in a row, seemingly pointing at something on the other side of the room. The three of them turned as their gazes fell onto a metal archway. Bucky growled,

"And what exactly is that?"

At that moment, Azarov walked out from behind a column of shelves, smirking.

"That, my friends, is a time machine."

Words tumbled from Lydia's mouth before she could think twice about speaking.

"You're ALIVE?!"

Azarov smirked.

"Of course I am alive. Although I barely escaped thanks to you three. But, I shall let bygones be bygones, because I am very excited about what's soon to come."

Bucky's voice grew even angrier as he demanded answers.

"A time machine!? That's impossible. That's horseshit."

Zola's voice rang out.

"Nothing is impossible with the power of the cosmic cube."

This time, it was Steve's turn to bark out an angry response.

"What are you talking about?! The cube is back in the hands of the Asgardians. HYDRA hasn't had control of the cube in a very long time."

Zola responded,

"Ahhh, yes. That is true. But we have recently come across a small sliver of the cube that I managed to remove when I was still human. I hid it for safe keeping, knowing it would be of great use someday. You would be surprised at how much power even the smallest portion of the Tesseract is able to produce. We have been trying to harness the power of time travel for a long time, because that arrogant Stephen Strange was never quite eager to lend us a helping hand despite our wonderful offers. I'm thrilled to say it is finally attainable."

Before any of them could react, Azarov strode over to the archway and placed a container into a slot at the top of it. The container glowed blue as the space inside of the archway began to flash and swirl. Lydia's jaw dropped.

"You've got to be kidding me."

The three of them took a few steps toward the portal in disbelief. Bucky questioned,

"Well what the hell is the point of this?"

Zola's animated face seemed to smirk on the screen as he answered,

"We are going to go back in time and destroy Steve Rogers, of course! Without Captain America, HYDRA would have taken over the world long ago."

The three of them were momentarily stunned as the information sunk in. Azarov, who had walked over to a computer and began punching in numbers, turned and took off toward the portal at a sprint. Bucky growled as he charged toward Azarov in an attempt to cut him off before he could dive in. Lydia ran toward the two of them before Steve could hold her back, heart racing as she watched Azarov reach for the knife that was sticking out of his boot.

"NO!"

Azarov's knife clattered to the ground as Bucky pounced on him, but he soon broke free and lunged for portal once more. Bucky followed suit, attempting to pull him back. Lydia jumped toward them both, hands outstretched to grab onto Bucky to prevent him from falling through. Before Bucky could even blink, Azarov slipped from his grasp and fell through the portal, whilst Lydia managed to trip and stumble over him and fell through as well. Bucky reached out to grasp Lydia's hand as the rest of her body disappeared, but he was met with an intense burning sensation as the portal fizzled into nothingness. His voice came out strangled as he cried out,

"LYDIA!"

Zola's cackling laugh rang out as he shut off the time machine.

"She's gone, you fool. There's nothing you can do now."


	13. Chapter 13

**_A/N: Thank you, once again, to all of my awesome reviewers :)  
You guys are the damn best._**

**_So, I've got to say something...I apologize if this comes as a surprise or disappointment to anyone...but there are only two more chapters after this one!  
This story has been really fun to write, but it was never meant to be a huge novel._**

**_ALSO! For the sake of argument, since time travel doesn't truly exist (yet), I'm taking on a bit of a creative license when it comes to the schematics of what's happening here. It's explained in the chapter itself, but I just wanted to mention it._**

**_The 'past' in here is set a bit before Bucky leaves for the orders that he mentions in The First Avenger when he says goodbye to Steve at that convention. Aaaaand Steve is living with Bucky and his parents.  
_**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

**New York City, 1942**

_-THWACK-_

Lydia had a millisecond of relief after tumbling through the portal, only to end up smacking into something solid which sent her tumbling to the ground. She sat there for a moment, dazed, until a hand reaching down toward her brought her back to her senses.

"Holy shit I'm so sorry!"

She looked up at the owner of the voice and found herself at a loss for words as she stared into the eyes of none other than a slightly younger and much more innocent looking Bucky Barnes. He pulled her to her feet as she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly like a fish, trying to find the right words to say. She brushed off her pants as he spoke once more,

"I'm James Buchanan Barnes, but you can just call me Bucky."

"I'm Lydia...Lydia Fortona."

Bucky stuck out his hand once more, which Lydia assumed was meant for a proper handshake, but he lifted her hand to his lips instead and placed a chaste kiss upon it before flashing her a handsome smile.

"Well, it's wonderful to meet you, Lydia. Though I really am sorry for knocking you over."

Lydia gave him a weak smile in return as she tried to contain the shock that her body was currently suffering from.

"Bucky, do you perhaps have somewhere quiet that we could go to talk? Your house or something?"

Bucky raised an eyebrow and a flirtatious grin crept across his face.

"A beautiful woman that I just met already wants me to take her home?"

Lydia frowned and crossed her arms.

"Listen, it's not like that. I...um...I'll explain when we get there."

Bucky shrugged and led the way to his place. Lydia tried not to gawk as she took in just how incredibly different the city looked and began to feel painfully out of place in her modern clothes. After walking a considerable distance, they stood outside of a door to a small home in a quiet and slightly run-down neighborhood.

"I apologize for the mess in advance, my folks have been out of town."

Lydia stepped inside as Bucky opened the door, gesturing for her to enter, and was immediately overwhelmed by a scene that she never would have imagined possible. Walking into Bucky's parents' house wasn't exactly something she thought would ever occur, of course. She silently walked over to a wall with an array of black and white photos decorating it, and reached out to touch a particular one of an even younger Bucky standing beside his parents. At that moment, Bucky cleared his throat from behind her.

"So...you wanted to talk?"

Lydia shook herself out of her reverie and nodded, walking over to join Bucky on the sofa.

"Bucky, tell me something. What year is it?"

Confusion was plainly etched across Bucky's face as he scratched his head.

"Why, it's 1942, of course. Lydia, are you alright?"

Lydia bit her lip, looking down at her hands. She had no idea how she could possibly explain what had happened, let alone what the consequences of her meeting Bucky would mean for the future.

"I'm not...from here."

Bucky tilted his head.

"Well, I can see that. Gorgeous woman in odd clothes alone in the streets of New York City? I knew something was up."

Lydia felt her cheeks burn slightly as Bucky continued to add a flirtatious topping to their conversation.

"I'm from the future, Bucky."

Bucky burst out laughing at that moment, slapping his knee in amusement.

"I knew it! The guys are playing some sort of prank on me. Let me guess, Steve set this up, right? He knows I'm heading back out for my orders next week and I'm sure he couldn't resist one last prank."

Lydia sighed, inwardly wondering how in the world she was going to manage to handle this. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cellphone.

"See this? Future."

Bucky took one glance at it and shrugged.

"That has Stark written all over it."

Lydia was about to triumphantly smile, until she realized he was referring to Tony's father. _Of course..._

"Alright, then what about this!?"

She turned the phone to face Bucky and showed him a photo of the two of them, his arm around her shoulders and her head leaning against him.

"Alright, Stark must have had a breakthrough or something. What's with the color in the photo? And how could I have possibly forgotten meeting a woman as beautiful as yourself?! How drunk was I when we took this?!"

Lydia threw up her hands in frustration.

"Because this photo is from the future! I shouldn't be here, but I am!"

Bucky sat beside her with his arms crossed, clearly not convinced. At that moment, a very pint-sized version of Steve Rogers entered the house with a sullen look cast upon his face.

"Another goddamn rejection...oh hey Buck. And...?"

Steve looked at Lydia questioningly, while Bucky stood up and gestured to her.

"Steve, this is Lydia. Lydia, Steve."

Steve walked over to Lydia and shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Lydia."

"Likewise."

Lydia attempted to maintain her composure as she tried to accept that fact that she was in a room with two men who had no idea what sort of impact they would have on the world in the future, her life included. Bucky's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Alright guys, great show. Joke's over, you can come clean now."

Steve's face showed nothing but confusion in response to Bucky's accusation.

"What are you talking about?"

"C'mon. I know you set me up to run into this pretty gal so I would bring her home, then you told her to say she's from the future so..."

"Wait..what!?"

Bucky began to look just as confused as Steve once he cut him off mid-sentence.

"You didn't do this? Okay...well maybe one of the other guys did..."

Lydia groaned as she stood up and glared at both of them.

"For the last time, this isn't a joke! In the year 2014 HYDRA will have build a time machine and sent an agent here to kill you, Steve. I sort of ended up falling through as well in the midst of a scuffle..."

Bucky and Steve both stopped bickering to stare at her. Bucky raised an eyebrow.

"Alright, let's pretend this is real. First of all, I'll be really impressed if HYDRA amounts to anything in the future. Second, why in the hell would they have a problem with scrawny little Steve? No offense, buddy."

"There's not enough time for me to convince you guys, plus I think going into too much detail could cause some serious damage to the future. You're just going to have to trust me, guys. There's a man that arrived here at the same time as me, and he's going to kill Steve as soon as he finds him."

* * *

_[Meanwhile]_

**New York City, 2014**

The moment the portal shut off, Bucky began flipping out. A slew of swears poured out of his mouth as he lifted his cybernetic arm to smash a nearby computer. The moment his arm came in contact with it, however, a wave of pulsating electric volts sent him flying backward.

"Ah, ah, ah, soldier. Hurting me will not bring you any closer to getting her back."

Steve helped Bucky to his feet as he retorted,

"Then how will she get back?"

Zola was silent for a moment, as if he was contemplating how to best break the news.

"Well, Azarov has a device he can use to activate the portal once the deed is done. Unfortunately, unless Lydia is right there beside him, she will not be able to join him."

Bucky paced back and forth, clenching and unclenching his fists. An idea popped up in Steve's head.

"Well, if she's going back in time, that means it will affect the future. So if she runs into us, we will be able to remember meeting her. I know it's not much, but at least we will know if she's safe."

Zola's laugh interrupted Steve's brief moment of clarity.

"Unfortunately for the both of you, that's not how this time travel algorithm functions. I hope you are both not ignorant to the fact that I am indeed a genius. I made sure that anyone who travels through the portal will be forgotten by anyone they met once they return. I wanted to ensure that this mission would not cause any unnecessary...issues."

"But if she doesn't return, then we will be able to remember her."

Zola's digitized face seemed to shake back and forth.

"No, because I haven't told you the best part. She will die the moment Azarov crosses the threshold back into current time unless she is with him. Time travel is not natural, and must be handled very strategically. I spent many years developing this, and I can assure you that all loose ends will be taken care of."

Bucky growled as his face contorted in anger.

"I will destroy every digital piece of you one by one until you turn that time machine back on."

Zola emitted what seemed to be an almost childish giggle.

"Oooh you would have been such a prodigy if you hadn't left HYDRA. Such courage and determination. Unfortunately, for the two of you, the machine cannot be reactivated until Azarov passes through with the device. Once again, time travel is very temperamental and tricky."

Bucky dropped to his knees in defeat. Steve placed his hand on Bucky's shoulder.

"She's brilliant, Bucky. She'll find a way. You know she will."

* * *

**New York City, 1942**

Lydia walked down the busy street in between Steve and Bucky with her hands stuffed in her pockets, eyes darting back and forth as she searched for signs of Azarov. The boys were reluctant to believe her, assuming there was a much more reasonable explanation for whatever was going on with her, but they still insisted she stick with them until she figured 'things' out. Days passed and Lydia spent them with the two of them, getting to know the younger versions of the boys by day and sleeping on the couch at Bucky's by night. Despite her frustration at their lack of belief, she knew that she could at least keep an eye on Steve if she was with them. If she pushed them too hard on the issue she knew they could possibly begin to think she was crazy, so she settled for being a silent lookout.

"Hello, Lydia?"

Lydia glanced over at Bucky, not realizing he had been speaking to her.

"What? I'm sorry."

"I asked if you like to dance!"

Before she could respond, Bucky had grabbed her hand and pulled her inside of the nightclub that they had come to a stop in front of. Once they were inside, she turned to Bucky and Steve to protest.

"I'm not even dressed for this!"

Bucky smirked as he grabbed her hand once more and walked around her in a circle, looking her up and down.

"Oh quit it. Just dance with me, beautiful."

Lydia racked her mind for bits and pieces of old movies with dancing scenes, hoping she wouldn't make a fool of herself. She silently praised her luck, because a slow song wasn't playing. As long as she looked around, following the dance moves everyone else was doing couldn't be too hard. After a few songs, Lydia loosened up her stiff demeanor and found herself having more fun than she wanted to admit. She momentarily forgot about the current predicament at hand, and met Bucky's beaming face with a smile just as large. When Bucky excused himself to grab drinks for both of them, however, Lydia came to her senses. She glanced around looking for Steve, soon becoming frantic when she realized he was nowhere in sight. When Bucky returned, she cried out,

"Where the hell is Steve?!"

Bucky glanced around, his face void of concern.

"Maybe he finally got the guts to talk to a lady. What's wrong, Lydia? He can take of himself."

Lydia shook her head and grabbed Bucky's arm, dragging him toward the back exit. She shoved the door open and looked around the dimly lit alley wildly, searching for anything suspicious.

"Lydia, what the hell is-..."

The rest of Bucky's words came out muffled as Lydia firmly placed her hand over his mouth. He wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively, but stopped once she gave him an angry glare. She lowered her hand from his mouth and placed a finger in front of her lips, signaling for him to be quiet. He nodded and followed her as she slowly crept down the alley. Upon hearing voices coming from above, Lydia glanced upward toward the rooftops surrounding them. Without hesitation, she quickly grabbed onto a ladder mounted into the side of the building, which led up to the rooftop, and began to climb. She glanced back down at Bucky,

"Are you coming, or are you too scared?"

Bucky snorted.

"Of course I'm not scared."

The two ascended the ladder together, and the voices grew louder as they got closer.

"Who the hell are you!?"

"That's not important. What's important is that I see the look on your face before I kill you. I look forward to returning to a future without Captain America."

Lydia and Bucky scrambled up the last few rungs of the ladder as they recognized Steve's voice. Bucky muttered,

"Is there another crazy guy talking about the future, now?!"

Azarov spun around when Bucky and Lydia reached the top, still gripping Steve by the collar of his shirt. He smirked when his eyes fell upon Lydia.

"Did you think you could stop me? I knew they would never believe you, anyway. This is far too easy."

Lydia stood her ground, despite the fact that her hands had begun to shake.

"You're a coward, Azarov. You can't win in our time, so you had to go back in time to cheat your way through life? Pathetic."

Azarov laughed at her remark.

"I also look forward to returning to a world without your annoying presence. At least if I kill you here, your dear Winter Soldier is as useless as an untrained puppy at the moment. So he will just have to settle for watching you die in front of him."

Lydia huffed, glancing back and forth between Bucky and Steve as she wondered how confused they were by Azarov's 'Captain' and 'Soldier' remarks.

"You're going to lose this time just like you have every other time."

"Oh, I don't think so. This string bean couldn't hurt a fly, and Mr. Barnes isn't much more than wasteful army meat right now. And you…my dear Lydia…you are just a weak and worthless woman."

A loud pop rang out as Bucky's fist connected with Azarov's jaw, followed by him tackling Azarov to the ground. Bucky straightened back up and flexed his fingers.

"That's not how you speak to a lady."

Before Bucky could say anything else, Azarov was back on his feet and pointing a gun directly at Bucky's head. He had regained his grip around Steve's neck and held him tight against him. Lydia surveyed the situation as her heart pounded within her chest, and she quickly snapped her eyes shut. She cursed having forgotten the holster with her guns in Bucky's living room, and tried to steady her breathing as she imagined she was back in the training room with Bucky and Clint. Despite her lack of true field skills, the two men had rigorously trained her in countless mock-situations. Lydia took one last deep breath as she opened her eyes once more and took a step forward.

"Drop the gun."

Azarov looked at her, slightly shocked by her confidently demanding voice.

"Not happening, princess."

Lydia shrugged.

"Fine, I warned you."

In one swift motion, she closed the distance between her and Azarov, gripped the pressure point in his neck with one hand, snapped the arm with his gun downward with the other, and roughly kicked the gun out of his hands. Azarov dropped Steve, who scrambled backwards, meanwhile Lydia kneed him hard between his legs and pushed him to the ground while he cried out in pain. He angrily spat out, in between gasps for air,

"You…bitch…"

Bucky's boot connected with the side of his head, whilst he picked up the fallen gun and held it in front of Azarov's face.

"What did I tell you about talking to a lady?"

Steve stood up and walked over to them, brushing himself off.

"What the hell is going on? This guy is insane, I have no idea what he was talking about."

Lydia rolled her eyes and looked at him.

"I wish you guys would have listened to me. This is the guy I fell into the time machine behind. He's the one that came here to kill you."

Steve still looked confused, despite Lydia's explanation. She sighed.

"I know this is hard for you guys to believe. But-.."

Lydia was cut off by the sound of Azarov crying out once more, and the crunch of Bucky stomping on his hand. A black device hit the concrete of the rooftop and slid slightly out of Azarov's reach as it left his hand. Lydia cocked her head to the side with curiosity and walked over to pick the device up.

"What's this?"

Azarov glowered.

"Something your greedy, filthy hands should not be touching you useless piece of-…"

His angry voice was silenced as Bucky knocked him out with the butt of the gun. Lydia cried out,

"What the hell, Bucky! I need to find out what this is. It could be my ticket home!"

Bucky shrugged, giving her an apologetic look.

"Sorry, I didn't like the way he was talking to you. I'm sure we can figure that thing out."

Lydia glanced down at the device once more and nodded as she spotted a tiny portion of the device that was glowing blue, indicating that it held a tiny sliver of the cosmic cube. It was definitely how Azarov was supposed to get home after completing his mission. She glanced back down at the man who was passed out on the ground beside them.

"What are we going to do with him?"

Bucky smirked.

"I think I know a few guys that will take care of him just fine…"

* * *

After handing off Azarov to some of Bucky's acquaintances who he claimed would make sure he wouldn't be seen again, they found themselves alone in Bucky's living room. Steve was off looking for another army sign-up base, grumbling that he wasn't going to take no for an answer after what they had just been through.

Lydia stood up from the couch she had been sitting on and picked up Azarov's device from the coffee table.

"Wait."

Bucky reached out and lightly held Lydia's wrist as she turned back around to face him. He released her and brought his hands up around his neck, removing the army dog tags that were tucked into his shirt. He held them out to her.

"Take it."

She gave him a questioning look.

"Why? Don't you kind of need those?"

Bucky shrugged.

"I can get another set. I want you to have them for...good luck or something. For whatever it's worth. If this time travel stuff is really true...I feel like it's probably not the safest method of transportation. Plus, I don't want you to forget about the old me when you get back to the new me."

He winked after his last sentence, whilst Lydia smiled and rolled her eyes as she placed the tags into her pocket, where they fit snugly. She took his hand in hers and looked into his eyes.

"Thank you, Bucky."

With that, she dropped his hand and held up the device that she had swiped from Azarov. She furrowed her eyebrows as she began to turn a few knobs and press buttons, wondering how it worked. Her question was soon answered once the device started beeping and a strange gust picked up behind her. Bucky's jaw nearly hit the floor and his eyes glazed over with awe as he watched a glowing circle begin to form. Flashes of color spun around inside of it and the edges were an intense, burning white.

"This is really happening."

Lydia nodded, lips twitching upward in amusement while she watched Bucky realize that absolutely everything she had said had been entirely true. He quietly spoke once more.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

She laughed.

"I wouldn't have believed me, either, if I were in your shoes."

Bucky grinned. Lydia took a step toward the portal, but Bucky grabbed her wrist and pulled her back once more.

"Bucky, I really have to-..."

She was cut off by his lips crashing into hers. Her eyes widened in shock and she barely had time to register what was happening, let alone react, before he abruptly broke off the kiss and backed away from her, breathing heavily.

"I had to. Just once. Future me is a goddamn lucky man."

Lydia brought a hand to her lips, still slightly stunned. Meanwhile, Bucky turned her around and nudged her closer to the portal. She took a few more steps forward and before she knew it, she was yet again infinitely falling through time and space.

_Falling..._

_Falling..._

_Falling..._

* * *

**New York City, 2014**

"BUCKY, LOOK!"

Lydia landed face down on the cold, hard linoleum floor with a thud. Bucky looked up from his current position, head in his hands while he sat against the wall, upon hearing Steve's frantic voice. His eyes landed on Lydia's motionless form, and he sprinted to her side. He turned her over and pulled her into his lap, desperately calling out her name.

"Lydia!? Lydia! Please be okay! Please..."

His heart skipped a beat as he watched her eyelids begin to flutter. She slowly opened her eyes and gazed up at him with a perplexed look.

"Who are you?"


	14. Chapter 14

**_A/N: This is it! It's over!  
_****_I've had so much fun writing this story, and I'm proud to say I finally wrote my first completed fic. _**

**_I can't thank all of you awesome reviewers enough. _**

**_I promise I will be writing more things shortly!_**  
**_Also, no promises for this one, but perhaps if something interesting and inspiring enough happens in the MCU in due time...Lydia and Bucky may have another story to tell._**

**_Enough of my rambling!_**  
**_Without further adieu..._**

* * *

"Who are you?"

An uneasy feeling lurched in the pit of Bucky's stomach as the woman in his arms gazed up at him with a face that showed no signs of recognition. Meanwhile, Zola's voice cackled,

"Fascinating! I was incredibly curious as to what would happen if she passed through without the preservation serum that Azarov was injected with. I shall hypothesize that a good chunk of her memory has been destroyed. Do you remember your name, dear?"

Lydia pulled herself up out of Bucky's arms, much to his dismay.

"I'm Lydia. Who the hell are you people and what am I doing here? Steve?!"

Steve and Bucky exchanged a worried look. Bucky growled,

"Fix this. NOW!"

Zola responded in an amused tone,

"Demanding things won't get you anywhere, Barnes. Besides, it's impossible. There's absolutely noth-.."

Before Zola could finish his sentence, a deafening crash rung out. Bucky had begun smashing computers left and right. He groaned in pain as Zola attempted to stop him by sending out electromagnetic pulses from the devices, but Bucky's rage could not be stopped. Steve quickly removed the container that held the piece of the cosmic cube, and then grabbed Lydia and pulled her toward the exit before she could protest. Zola's voice came out as a garbled mess while Bucky's rampage ensued. After he was satisfied with his work, he walked up to the screen with Zola's face on it, which was a fuzzy mess after the destruction. He punched directly through the center of the screen, and then turned on his heel and headed for the door. Before exiting fully, he pulled a grenade out from his pocket. After pulling the pin and tossing it into the center of the room, he took off running toward the building's exit.

Once he was outside, he found Steve and Lydia waiting near the perimeter of the building's parking lot. Bucky motioned for them to keep going as he ran toward them, meanwhile the building began to shake and rumble as the grenade exploded inside. They continued running until they reached the black SUV that was still parked on a side street waiting for them. The three of them quickly got into the vehicle and Steve started the engine, pulling away and putting New York City in their rearview as fast as possible.

The ride was silent for a while, as Lydia sat in the back seat of the car trying to remember what had happened to her. Eventually, she scooted over so she was sitting in the center of the seat and leaned forward.

"So I think I deserve an explanation. First of all, who is this guy, Steve? What the hell happened to us?"

She motioned toward Bucky, who seemed to visibly flinch at her question. Steve shot Bucky a look of sympathy before he looked at Lydia in the rearview mirror.

"Lydia, this is Bucky Barnes. What's the last thing you can remember?"

Lydia racked her brain as she searched her memory, which was still incredibly foggy.

"The last thing I remember is…running out of the S.H.I.E.L.D. building with a briefcase…"

Bucky momentarily forgot how to breathe as her words sunk in. Steve gripped the steering wheel tightly, staring at the road in front of him.

"That happened months ago…"

Lydia's eyes widened in shock.

"Well what happened to me back in that building?!"

"HYDRA managed to develop a time machine…and they sent a man in to go back and kill me before I was to become Captain America. You fell through with him and you must have stopped him somehow."

Lydia's mind spun as she took in the information, trying her hardest to remember anything that happened after HYDRA destroyed the base.

"I honestly can't remember a thing. What ever happened to the Winter Soldier, Steve?"

Bucky wanted to disappear as he silently gazed out the passenger side window. Steve hesitated for a moment before answering Lydia,

"The Winter Soldier…was…is…Bucky. My Bucky."

Lydia tilted her head in confusion.

"Wait…this guy? Right here? This is your long lost best friend? He's the guy that tried to kill Fury and helped destroy the base and…"

Bucky awkwardly cleared his throat, causing Lydia to trail off. Steve spoke up once more,

"Well…you actually spent a lot of time with Bucky in the past few months. You met him as soon as you got out of the building and you-.."

"You saved me."

Lydia glanced at Bucky as he interrupted Steve, surprised that he had spoken.

"Oh…wow…"

She looked down at the floor uncomfortably and continued to speak,

"I wish I could remember any of that. I'm sorry, Bucky."

Bucky shrugged and went back to staring out the window, watching the scenery pass by in a jumbled blur.

* * *

When they arrived back in D.C., the sun was just beginning to set. Steve offered to go and talk to Fury so Bucky could take Lydia home and let her get some rest.

"My apartment burned down…?"

Lydia raised an eyebrow in confusion as Bucky drove in the opposite direction of her old apartment, heading for her new one that she had no recollection of. Bucky told her the story of what had happened, hoping it would jog her memory. He let loose a small sigh as he finished talking, realizing it hadn't helped at all. She turned to him as they pulled up outside,

"Uhm…so…I don't know which apartment in there is mine…"

"Right…"

Bucky removed the keys from the ignition and got out of the car as he uncomfortably waited for Lydia to join him on the sidewalk. He wanted to get home as soon as possible, because being near her and knowing she couldn't remember anything that had happened between them was tearing him apart inside. Bucky walked slightly ahead of her up the stairs and down the hallways of the building, leading the way to the door that he knew far too well.

When they arrived, he shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet as they stood outside of the door in silence for a few moments. He turned to her to see what was wrong, and realized she was looking down at her keys, trying to figure out which was the one for the apartment door. He took a hand out of his pocket and pointed to the correct key, momentarily freezing as his hand gently brushed against hers. She glanced up at him and they locked eyes, his heart pounding loudly in his chest as he closed the distance between them. Bucky brought his hand up to cup the side of her face and felt a pleasurable burning sensation shoot through his body as he pressed his lips to hers.

The moment was short-lived, however, as two hands roughly shoved him backward. Lydia wiped her lips with the back of her hand, looking at him with a face full of shock and confusion. It took him a few seconds to speak, and when he did he mumbled,

"I'm sorry..."

He quickly turned and left before she could respond.

* * *

Steve came home to a very dark and empty apartment, void of any signs of his best friend. He turned on the light to find Bucky's jacket tossed carelessly across the back of the couch. He furrowed his eyebrows, wondering where he could be. He turned back around and exited the apartment, knowing there was one other place he might find him.

Bucky didn't move as he heard the door to the rooftop creak open, knowing all too well who it was. He croaked out,

"Go away, Steve."

Steve approached Bucky, a look of concern spread across his face as he took in the scene before him. Bucky sat precariously on the ledge of the rooftop, swinging his legs back and forth as he looked out at the city below them.

"What are you doing up here, Buck?"

Bucky grumbled incoherently, refusing to turn and look at Steve. He was silent for a few more moments before he spoke again,

"She doesn't remember me."

Steve sat down beside Bucky, facing the opposite direction so his legs were planted firmly on the rooftop.

"I'm sure there's got to be a way that we can make her remember everything."

Bucky let loose an exasperated sigh as his words came out strangled.

"No Steve. There's nothing we can do! I tried kissing her and she pushed me away. I felt everything and she felt NOTHING!"

Steve looked at his friend sadly and put his hand on his shoulder.

"We can't give up hope."

Bucky looked at him miserably with puffy, red eyes. He struggled to get his next words out.

"I can't lose her, Steve. She brought me back…she saved me. I can't do this without her. I…I love her…"

Steve pulled Bucky into a tight hug, unable to conjure any other words to comfort him.

* * *

Time passed by painfully slow for Bucky after that night, as he pushed himself to get through each and every day. He blamed himself constantly for everything that had happened, wishing he had accepted his true feelings for Lydia sooner. He knew everything was his fault, and that knowledge had begun to eat away at his insides. He also couldn't help but laugh at how ironic it was that she was the one suffering from lost memories this time, and yet he knew he wasn't capable of saving her as she had saved him. Despite how unfortunate the current situation was for him, he had resigned to the fact that Lydia was most likely better off with no memories of anything that had happened to her in the past few months.

He had fooled himself into thinking that being with her was the right choice and in her best interest. The illusion was finally broken once he realized that the loss of her memories was a blessing for her, because she could at least let him go without any pain on her end. The constant ache in his heart was a cross he was willing to bear if it meant she could finally live happily without him.

Steve pestered him far more than he liked, insisting that he spend time with her in order to rebuild what they had. He claimed that they had chemistry either way, and if it were meant to be then things would find a way to work out once more. Bucky shook his head each time Steve brought up the subject, refusing to give it a chance. Being near her at the base was hard enough, because he felt a wave of emotions that threatened to bring him to his knees each and every time he laid eyes on her. He had found tactful ways to avoid her, which were much easier than the first time around because she wasn't trying to get his attention anymore.

He didn't blame her for not seeking him out, because he knew that the kiss outside of her apartment was extremely uncalled for. He couldn't begin to imagine how uncomfortable she felt, being kissed by a man that she only knew of as a ghost of Steve's past and a deadly assassin. It would be cruel for him to try and make her understand how intimate and close they had been, because it would only make her feel worse for not being able to remember any of it.

Despite his attempts to bottle his distraught emotions, he couldn't mask the jealousy that he felt when Steve spent time with Lydia. Although he was well aware that Steve had been one of Lydia's only real friends before he had met her, he couldn't stop the aching feeling as he watched how comfortable and happy she was around him.

On nights when S.H.I.E.L.D. was exceptionally quiet and seemingly safe, even Natasha and Clint would go out and meet up with Steve and Lydia. Steve repeatedly told Bucky that he had nothing to be jealous of or to worry about, but that didn't stop Bucky from avoiding any and all conversation that involved her.

* * *

Lydia glanced across the coffee shop table that she and Steve were sitting at and looked at him.

"So what ever happened with Bucky and I?"

Steve glanced down at his hands for a moment, trying to find the right way to explain everything.

"Well…you guys were close…extremely close."

Lydia's cheeks reddened as she took in the information.

"So I guess that's why he kissed me…"

Steve nodded.

"He thought that kissing you might help you remember…he cares about you a lot, Lydia."

She sighed, looking down at the coffee that she was holding.

"I really wish I could remember. I feel absolutely nothing when I look at him, though. When he kissed me it just felt…strange."

* * *

The days that went by turned into weeks and months, which turned out to be incredibly uneventful for S.H.I.E.L.D. Lydia spent most of her time at the base helping Fury and the rest to construct plans for a new permanent base. She had pushed away the nagging feeling to attempt to reconcile with Bucky, because he had effectively continued to avoid her every single day. The most she caught of him was a quick glimpse of the back of his head before he would turn down a hallway and disappear. He became nothing more than a small, confusing thought in the back of her mind.

Steve stood in the doorway of her office late one evening, waiting for her to look up from her paperwork.

"Hey, Lyd."

She smiled and motioned for him to come in.

"What's up, Steve?"

He walked over to her desk and picked up a pen, turning it over in his hands.

"So…we need to talk."

She cocked her head to the side, wondering why Steve looked so apprehensive.

"What's going on?"

Steve bit his lip and put down the pen.

"Bucky is leaving."

Lydia gave him a confused look.

"What do you mean? You guys were separated for like, 70 years. Where is he going?"

Steve shrugged.

"He said he needs to get away for a while…"

"So what's wrong with that?"

Steve groaned.

"What do you mean, what's wrong with that? He's so unstable right now, he can't just get pack up and leave!"

Lydia pursed her lips.

"Why of course he can. I hope you didn't come here to try and convince me to do something crazy like stop him. You know that I can't fake my emotions. I'm not going to pretend I remember him just to get him to stay."

Steve hung his head dejectedly.

"I know…I just…I thought it was worth a shot to ask. I'm just so worried about him and I don't want to lose him again…"

Lydia gave him a sad smile.

"I know, Steve. But if he wants to go, you need to give him some space. Some new surroundings might be good for him."

"I guess you're right…"

After Steve left her office, Lydia packed up her belongings and headed home as well. She fought to squash the nagging feeling that had returned once more, assuring herself that Bucky truly needed to get away for a while. He wasn't her responsibility, and it wouldn't be fair to him if she pretended to care about him just for Steve's sake.

As she entered her apartment, she flopped down on the couch in exhaustion. She opened up her laptop, remembering there was a bit more work she had meant to get done. She glanced at the coffee table, eyes searching for the flash drive with the files she needed to edit. After thoroughly searching the couch cushions and the floor to no avail, she headed into her bedroom. She searched the entire room, still unable to find it. As she got down on her hands and knees she lifted the bed skirt, seeing nothing but a lone pair of pants underneath the bed. She pulled the pants out and shrugged, wondering if it was in the pockets. As she put her hand inside one of the pockets, her hands came in contact with cool metal. Lydia curiously grasped the item and pulled it out, opening up her hand to reveal a pair of dog tags on a chain.

Confusion washed over her as she wondered where they could have come from. She lifted them closer to her face and ran her fingers over the inscription on one of the tags…

_James Buchanan Barnes_

The tags dropped to the floor with a faint clink as she jumped to her feet. She sprinted out of the apartment, only stopping for a brief moment to swipe her keys off of the coffee table. Her stomach did somersaults inside of her chest as she started her car with shaking hands and peeled out of the parking spot.

She hastily parked her car outside of Steve and Bucky's apartment building and sprinted for the door. Her feet pounded down the hallway until she came to a skidding stop in front of her destination. Before her fist could even make contact with the door, it creaked open. Bucky stood there, bags slung over both of his shoulders, mouth agape as he stared at the girl gasping for breath in front of him.

"Bucky."

His bags dropped to the floor with a _thud_ as she stepped toward him and brought her lips crashing down on his.

* * *

**_A**/**N: Hey...there's an epilogue!_**


	15. Epilogue

_[ ~~~~~ ]_

_"Wait…so you kissed me?!"_

_Lydia had to stifle a laugh as she looked at Bucky's incredulous face as she finally filled him in on the regained memories of the time traveling escapade._

_"Well…technically YOU kissed me, Mr. Barnes. And it was brilliant that you thought to give me your tags…without even knowing how important they would prove to be."_

_Bucky smiled as he reached a hand forward and ran his fingers over the tags that Lydia wore around her neck._

_"I guess I can't blame myself for taking advantage of another chance to kiss you…though I'm pretty pissed that my old self was suave enough to get you to dance before I had the chance to take you out…"_

_Her smile mirrored his as she leaned in and softly planted her lips on his. He eagerly returned the kiss, bringing his hand to the back of her head to pull her in and deepen it. A soft sigh escaped Lydia's mouth as Bucky's lips left hers and trailed kisses down her neck, stopping at her collarbone, which he gently nipped. She playfully pushed him over so he was lying on his back and she was sitting on top of him._

_A warm breeze began to pick up, ruffling the blanket that they were laying on top of. The striking colors of the setting sun covered the rooftop in an orange glow. Bucky felt himself melt as he looked up at her, her hair carelessly blowing in the wind, eyes full of wonder as she watched the sunset paint the sky._

_Their eyes met and Lydia felt a wave of emotions crest inside of her, spilling out and dripping down her body with a tingling sensation. Another smile slowly crept across Bucky's face as a thought came to mind._

_"Lydia…you never told me what your type is…."_

_Lydia raised an eyebrow, playfully wiggling her body on top of his._

_"Well…I seem to have a thing for guys with metal arms…"_

_Bucky grinned as he reached up and pulled her face down to his. He kissed her forehead, then each of her cheeks, her chin, her nose, and finally her lips. Then he pulled back slightly and looked into her eyes._

_"I love you, Lydia."_

_She smiled, bringing her hand to the side of his face._

_"I know."_

_A small squeal escaped her lips as Bucky's hands snaked around her bottom, pulling her around so they were lying side by side. He then closed the distance between their faces and kissed her urgently, the warmth sending a electrifying current throughout both of their tangled bodies._

_[ ~~~~~ ]_

**Fin.**


End file.
